1. I have one son, a cat, a husband, and a dog.
2. Depending on my mood, I might re-order that list. But I really do love them all.
3. Especially my son and my cat.
4. My hubby and I met in college at a Pimps and Ho’s Halloween party.
5. I was not
6. We partied so hard during college that we are now too pooped to party anymore.
7. We usually go to bed around 9pm, as soon as the Little Guy is in bed.
8. We call our son Little Guy or Guy for short. He is 8 months old.
9. My husband says he has me scheduled for my next insemination sometime this Fall.
10. I like to let him think that he is in charge of such things.
11. Though we all know he is not.
12. I currently work part-time for the government.
13. I work in budgeting.
14. Which is ironic since I got a degree in English.
15. Despite my degree, I’m not sure if I used the word ironic correctly in the previous sentence.
16. Maybe that’s why I got a job in budgeting.
17. I blog to get my writing fix.
18. But it kinda freaks me out when people leave pornographic comments on my mommy blog.
19. What kind of crazy pedophile does that?
20. If you are reading this right now and you are a crazy pedophile, shame on you and get the hell off my site.
21. I think being a mommy is fun.
22. Breastfeeding is my favorite pastime.
23. But I didn’t really like the whole pregnancy and childbirth part.
24. Especially the morning sickness, which I had for 20 weeks.
25. Or the part where my epidural didn’t work. (I didn’t know that epidurals don’t always work. Why didn’t anyone tell me that epidurals don’t always work?)
26. My husband tried to make a joke about this the other day.
27. I wasn’t laughing.
28. He couldn’t understand why.
29. Did I mention how much I love my son and my cat?
30. I like playing the piano, reading and finding grammar mistakes in published writing. I know there are grammar mistakes in my own writing, but I’m not published so that’s my excuse.
31. I have a couple of interesting physical quirks.
32. Like one of my legs is longer than the other, though you couldn’t tell just by looking at me.
33. This is because my spine is curved.
34. If my spine were straight, I am told I would be one inch taller. I think that’s fascinating and disturbing at the same time.
35. So about my heritage. I come from an Italian background.
36. Unfortunately for me, this means I have a big nose.
37. But I have come to embrace my nose as a feature that “gives me character”
38. I spent a year in Italy during college.
39. My boyfriend at the time waited for me faithfully until I got back.
40. That’s how I knew I had to marry him.
41. My godfather looks like the
Godfather. He is from Sicily.
42. If you answered “yes” to #20 or try to mess with me in any other way, I will send him after you.
43. I also have two brothers and 27 male cousins. They are equally scary.
44. My parents are both teachers.
45. My father was my husband’s high school Spanish teacher.
46. But we didn’t know it until after I met my husband.
47. It was a weird six degrees of separation thing.
48. I went to high school at an all-girls private school.
49. I wasn’t totally cool during high school, but I wasn’t totally geeky either.
50. Though I did have acne, which really sucked.
51. Private school made me pretty sheltered.
52. But I think with therapy I will be OK.
53. But really, I got a pretty good education.
54. And I always liked school.
55. I actually got a masters degree after college.
56. Oh, you got your masters, huh? What do you think, you’re my master now?
57. My husband likes to make this joke.
58. But actually he got his masters in the same program.
59. He says I copied him. I say he copied me.
60. We bicker because we love each other.
61. I think we are starting to look more alike the longer we are together.
62. This is good news for him. He’d say it’s good news for me.
63. We are homebodies.
64. But I try not to watch too much TV.
65. Though I do think Tivo is the best invention ever.
66. It allows me to watch General Hospital every day.
67. General Hospital is my favorite show.
68. I think it’s cool that Maurice Benard
grew up in the same small town that my father did.
69. There’s that weird six degrees of separation thing again.
70. But this time it’s with Maurice Benard.
71. The fact that I think that is cool shows my lameness.
72. I wonder if Maurice is reading this right now.
73. If you’re reading this, Maurice, and you’ve always wanted to meet relatives of random people from your hometown, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
74. OK, I am shaking myself back to reality. Alright now I can move on.
75. My son is sleeping right now.
76. He is a really good sleeper.
77. And we don’t even have to give him acetaminophen.
78. Even though my husband has wanted to do this in the past.
79. I told him this would be child abuse.
80. He didn’t see why.
81. Despite this, he really is a good father.
82. But back to me.
83. I do have some faults.
84. One is that I am pretty cheap.
85. I like nice stuff, but I don’t want to pay for it.
86. Which is why I buy a lot of imitation Pottery Barn stuff at Target.
87. I’m also a compulsive list maker.
88. I have several lists that I work from.
89. I am, in fact, currently making a list.
90. It’s really a problem I need treatment for.
91. I am also compulsive about our finances.
92. I monitor them to the penny.
93. I recently put my husband on a budget.
94. He actually complied and is doing quite well.
95. I guess he is a keeper.
96. I really do love him.
97. Despite what I said in #3, #10, and #29.
98. Please forgive me, babe.
99. I know you’re reading this right now and shaking your head.
100. But as you would say, “There’s no getting rid of me now. I got the papers that say you're mine.”