Suddenly she found herself surrounded by an all-powerful Light,
and she knew then that God was before her. She fell to her knees, and from the burning bush
she heard Him say:"I shall place four Target stores within a 20-mile radius of your home. I shall tempt you with faux-Pottery Barn furniture and other affordably priced home accessories (in addition to clothing, baby gear, and electronics). You shall be forced to choose between shopping and saving for your child’s college education. You will be tempted many, many times, and it will be an arduous journey."*********
Target. It's a dangerous, dangerous place. I swear, I drop more cash there than a drunk gambler at an Indian casino. Let me describe to you my most recent trip to Target, and then you tell me
if I have a problem. Scene: Me, clutching a scrap of paper in one hand with the words “baby pool” scrawled across it. My husband, following me with our 11-month old in tow. On the way into the store, I tell him: “I only need to get this ONE thing. Just the swimming pool. We’ll be in and out. I swear.”
"Swimming pool. Swimming pool....Focus. Focus. Do not look at ANYTHING else," I tell myself as we enter the store.
We walk past the clothing section. Uh, Target clothes? Eh, not so great. But wait! Are those t-shirts really on sale for $5 each? That’s not a bad deal. And I totally need some new t-shirts. Where else
will I find a t-shirt this cheap? For $5 each, I don’t even need to try them on. Medium looks about right. I'll take five in a variety of colors.
OK, moving on…
What are we here for again? Oh yeah, the swimming pool. Would that be in the toy section or the garden section? Well, we'll just meander through...
Oh, shit, how did we get to the shoe aisle? Oooooh, these sandals are pretty cute! Is there a size 9 anywhere? Bingo. I’ll just flip off my shoes and try these on real quick. I don’t usually wear gold, but I think I like them. Husband, what do you think? Do these look cute on me? Oh, good. Good answer. OK, I’m gonna get these then.
Now on to the garden section…for the swimming pool, right? Right.
Oh what do we have here? Pottery-barn esque furniture at reasonable prices. My favorite part of Target! Do not look, I tell myself. Do. Not. Lo….Too late.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spy a totally cute retro red and sliver barstool. Love this! But wait. I don’t have a 50s-style kitchen. This might look kinda weird. Plus, I don’t really have a place to set up stools. Hmmmm. Well, perhaps this is just the inspiration piece I need to get started on a kitchen remodel. "What do you think, honey? What? OUCH! Don’t pull on my arm like that?! OK OK, I’m coming."
Finally, we arrive at the swimming gear aisle. I don’t see any child-size plastic pools. I only see pools that seat 10 adults. That’s not what I want.
Somewhat dejectedly, I head towards the checkout counter to pay for my t-shirts and new shoes. While sliding through my credit card, I turn around to see what the lady behind me is placing on the counter. Ooooh, is that a ride on toy?!
My own transaction is barely completed and Husband is already out the door. I wave him back inside. "LOOK. LOOK. I’ve been wanting to get one of these for Little Guy. Let’s go back in and get one."
(At this point, I actually think that my shopping frenzy was causing me to salivate uncontrollably.)
Husband protests and heads back out the door. I, of course, head back into the store with the eager determination of a firefighter dashing back into a burning building. I grab a ride-on toy off the shelf (Yes! One left!), and as I'm walking out of the store, I catch a glimpse of something I didn't see before in the swimming aisle. It's the ultimate baby swimming fantasy.
I am now in full zombie shopper mode and drool is running down my chin.
Husband has come back into the store looking for me.
"I’m SO glad I came back into the store to find the ride on toy. Look what else
I found! This is the coolest baby pool I’ve ever seen. Little Guy is going to LOVE it."
"What? Why buy that?" says Husband. "He can just run through the sprinklers…for free!"
"Yeah, but he can’t really run yet. And we can only turn on our sprinklers every Tues, Thurs and Sun. What if we want to have some water fun on Saturday? We just MUST get this."
And we did. And the total bill came to around $100 for everything we bought. Even though I had planned on spending only $15 for a baby pool. But like a good little addict, I can rationalize all of this shopping behavior, as I needed every item I purchased.
And as far as the pool goes, sure it will take us 5 days to blow it up. And yeah, our dog will probably pop it with her claws as soon as we start using it. And OK, I guess we could have used the sprinklers to save a buck.
But doesn’t this pool look TOTALLY awesome? *wipes drool off chin*