Mind Your Own Business, Mommy?
However, I often find that the line between being judgmental and being concerned is not always so easy to judge....[read on]
Husband: So, you don't think I should walk around naked eating Trix, eh?I don't know if he bought it, but it really was more like I was laughing with him not at him, you know? *ahem*
Me: What???? Uh, what are you talking about?
Husband: I read your blog.
Husband: Yeah, I read your blog and I read what you wrote.
Me: Oh, shit. Well, I just thought it was really funny that you said that. But funny in a cute way. Yeah, cute, I thought it was cute. And if you check out the comments on that entry, you'll even see that I said that it was cute. I wasn't making fun of you, I swear.
1. We stop for lunch in a drive through on the way there. My husband orders an extra large iced tea. He places it in the car cup holder next to me. As we drive away, the iced tea tips over and spills all over my dress. Luckily, my dress is black. But still.
2. We get to San Jose right on time and exit the freeway en route to the ceremony. We have about 10 minutes until the wedding starts and we are less than a mile from the Church. We are feeling good. And that's when we get lost. Yes, a mere mile away from the wedding ceremony we get lost for half an hour, causing us to miss half the ceremony. Thanks a bunch Yahoo Maps.
3. For comfort reasons, I wear my flip flops in the car and pack away my black strappy dress shoes. When we arrive at the Church (late and now really peeved), I run to the trunk to pull out my bag and find that there is no bag to pull out. Yes, folks, I've left my entire bag of clothing for the weekend at home. Including my shoes, underwear, nightclothes, etc. And so I am forced to wear these pink flip flops into Church. Fuck.
4. Due to the fact that I had planned to wear closed-toed heels to the wedding, I had not bothered to do my nails or pluck out the two unruly hairs that emerge on my big toes and which are now clearly going to be out there for all to see. Double fuck.
5. After the wedding, there is a two-hour break until the evening reception. I am slightly comforted by the fact that there is a factory outlet close by and race there to find some more appropriate shoes. I am quickly dismayed to find that not only are all of the black shoes on sale completely UGLY, they are also grossly overpriced and I cringe at having to hand over $59.99 for shoes I will never wear again. Karma, I shake my fist at you!
6. Karma gives me a break while we attend an absolutely fabulous reception at the $10 million dollar home of my friend's aunt, who by all accounts is into "real estate", but by the looks of her posh estate might have a few side "gigs" going on that we probably shouldn't know about. The women are all beautiful and hail from Columbia. The men look like they walked off the set of Scarface. I feel grossly out of place, but have a wonderful time anyway, eating lobster and fantasizing about what it would be like to live in such a place.
7. Upon arriving at the hotel later that evening, Karma decides to kick it into gear again when I find out that the reservation I made was for Friday night. Unfortunately for me, it is Saturday night. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. Somehow, we weasle our way into a room in the "almost sold out" hotel, but I have yet to see whether I will have to pay for both nights.
8. The following day, I don my wrinkled party dress and pink flip flops and we head to Monterey to check out the Aquarium and walk around Cannery Row. I notice that people are looking at me and I wonder if they're checking me out because I look so hot in my outfit. But then I realize they're probably just wondering what the hell I'm doing in a black dressy dress and flip flops in the middle of the Aquarium. Oh, and perhaps they noticed my white legs peppered with stubble. Because, of course, I had also left my razor at home.
9. Upon exiting the Aquarium, it begins to rain. 'Nuff said.
|BlogHer Ad Network|
|More from BlogHer|