But when I became pregnant, I could no longer keep up. I couldn't stay up past 8:30pm. I was barely functioning at work. I was exhaused and nauseas all day and, though the exhaustion has lessened, I'm still battling vomiting and nausea in the mornings. As a result, the pregnancy has forced me to stop blogging with as much intensity as I had in the past. And as I stepped back from blogging, I realized that I had gotten a bit addicted to it. It had turned into almost a part-time job - only one I didn't get paid to do.
Also, I had become very guilt-ridden about commenting. Or not commenting, I should say. I almost completely stopped commenting on blogs for about 3 months during this pregnancy, and though I honestly can say that I don't feel that a blogger has to comment back to everyone who comments on their posts or that bloggers should have to comment on other blogs at all for that matter, for me, not commenting on any blogs made me feel very detached from the blogging community. I didn't like the feeling. Even though I was receiving comments on my posts, I felt almost like I had put myself in an isolation room. It was the weirdest thing. And yet I don't feel I have the time to keep up the connections and the relationships that I would like to in the blogosphere.
And then there's my life. The one I'd like to get back to. During my year of blogging, I rarely went to bed at the same time as my husband because I did most of my blogging in the evenings. I want to get our evenings back.
I want to do a lot of other things too. I want to do a hypnobirthing homestudy course. I want to take some prenatal yoga classes. I want to read for fun. I want to explore fun things for Little Guy and I to do in the Springtime. I want to get more involved with my mom friends and plan activities that we can do with our kids. I want to set up a living trust for our family - something we've put off for a while. I want to pursue getting my Italian citizenship - another thing I wanted to do forever and haven't gotten around to it. There are lot and lots of things that I've put off or scaled back on in order to blog and I feel it's time to rebalance my life a bit.
So after one year of blogging, I'm saying "good-bye." For now.
Actually, I've been saying good-bye in my heart for a few months now. I just haven't had the courage to tell you until now.
I didn't realize it would be so hard. It's damn hard. I will miss everyone so much.
But here's what I've been also thinking. I'm going to keep this blog up and if I feel like posting from time to time, I will. I don't know if I'll ever post again, but I might. (Like if I have an urgent need to post something about penises or ball scratchers.)
And I'm also planning to continue blogging on a more private site that I will be allowing my friends and family to access. Because one of the things I have realized is that I had posted less and less about Little Guy on this blog. Not sure how it happened but it did. So I want to start a blog that is just me writing down things that he does - nothing fancy, no blogroll or buttons or doo-dads - just a place to chronicle his new words and stuff like that. Once I start that blog, I would be happy to share the address with any of you who would like to keep in touch with me. And I also hope to continue to read - and hey comment now and then too! - on your blogs now again.
So, for now, thanks for being a reader of my blog. Thanks for taking the time to get to know me.
p.s. If anyone would like to keep in touch with me through my private mommy blog, please e-mail me and I'll share the address with you once I set it up.