Thursday, March 30, 2006

my separation anxiety fix

His face crumbles and reddens.
His eyes turn to slits.
He pouts his lips,
and out escapes

a
little,
whiny,
cry.

As I let go, the cry deepens
as he twists
his body
in my direction
and lifts his arms,
as if to say, don’t leave me!
Even though he’s being held by daddy.

I know that one day he won’t be tied to me like this. One day he will run out of the house without a thought, without a kiss goodbye. To play with friends. To go to school. To travel and experience. To find his way.

But I will always have this secret, special image, wrapped up like a present in my memory. I will get to remember back to when mama was his whole world. And I will know that, for a little while at least, mama was as important to baby as baby will always, always be to mama.

8 Comments:

Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

That is beautiful.

My girls are older (7 & 9) and now, when they are leaving for a playdate with their friends? I'm usually shouting, "Hello? I'll see you later? I love you? Look at me?!!!"

So, it sounds strange, but enjoy the 'clinginess' while you can.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

thanks. i will try to enjoy it while i can!

9:48 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Your right-on description of the blogging vortex at Sweatpantsmom's place sucked me in and over here to "Mommy Off the Record."

This was a sweet, sweet post. I can so relate.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Andie D. said...

I love this post.

I was just lamenting to myself this morning how I wish my children didn't NEED me so much. I often find that I'm pulled in two or three directions at once. I miss the time I had to myself.

But.

Sweatpantsmom is right. I know that one day I'll miss that they need me. Thanks for helping me keep this in perspective.

8:59 PM  
Blogger Andie D. said...

I actually had to re-read this today. My four year old will not stop talking. ;)

1:18 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Andie, something tells me I'll need to refer to this again myself, like when my little guy hits the "terrible twos" and starts throwing tantrums. ugh!

4:01 PM  
Anonymous Kvetvch Blogger said...

I have that same image in my head - and my kids are 14 and 10. My 10 year old daughter is still really a little girl, but even the 14 year will have a "mommy moment" every now and then. And when he doesn't - I remind him how it used to be! Makes us both smile!

5:05 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Kvetvch: so glad that those moments still come around now and then when they get older too!

8:19 AM  

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