Friday, August 25, 2006

Isn't this Just the Stuff I Wipe My Butt With?

Something unholy is happening between Little Guy and the toilet paper in this house. For the last couple of months, he has been worshipping at the feet of the Charmin Bears. And when I say worship, I am not exaggerating.

His favorite toy? Toilet paper. His favorite security "blanket"? Toilet paper. His favorite food? Friggin' toilet paper. I swear, I'm having to stash away all the rolls in the house like I'm hiding booze from an alchy.

Allow me to present the picture proof...

Top 10 Things Little Guy Was Thinking in these Photos















1) If you think this is bad, wait 'till the neighbor sees what I do to his yard.

2) You clearly left this here for me to play with.

3) I'll teach you what potty training is all about.

4) This place is filthy. I'd help you clean it up, but I'm busy.

5) Do you have any crayolas? These walls look bare.





















6) You're damn right I'm mad, look at my unitard.

7) I'm hungry. Go strain my peas.

8) Pops, you don't know art when you see it.

9) Mommy told me to.

10) You wipe your butt with this stuff?

*Captions courtesy of a funny brother-in-law who responded with these when I e-mailed him the photos. (Like Husband, BIL doesn't read this blog so I guess I didn't need to give him the credit, but I'm nice like that.)


**********************************
Oh, and on a side note, you gotta check this out. In my search for an image to use for this post, I came across these awesome Bush/Kerry toilet paper rolls. Guess who I'd rather wipe MY ass with? I'll give you a hint, HIS version is sold out.

42 Comments:

Blogger mrsmogul said...

My baby likes paper towels...and carpet lint, he can't get enough!!

As for Bush toilet paper, haha! Too bad, I would have gotten a huge economy pack for the family!

12:56 AM  
Anonymous Kailani said...

What's with his addiction to toilet paper? LOL! I hope you're buying in bulk!

12:57 AM  
Blogger Waya said...

No wonder why Walmart ran out of toilet paper the other day, you stashed them all. He's too damn cute with those curls. And love the caption.

BTW, if you're looking for a "funny" post for the award, I just read one and it was HILA.RIOUS!!

http://annenahm.com/?page_id=160

I found her via Parent Hacks. Maybe you read it already?

3:48 AM  
Anonymous O Mama Mia said...

LMAO!! This is great! We've been there too, girl. But not as far as the eating of. I heard a prego once say her "odd pregnancy cravings" included EATING TP. hmmmm... was that you??
These two oughtta get wrap together. See the lovely surprises we've found? http://omamamia.com/?p=131

5:08 AM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

So funny. He is unbelievably cute and I loved your BIL's captions.

Ha ha ha

Sometimes I forget about those stages. That made my day :)

5:49 AM  
Anonymous Moobs said...

I am writing to inform you that your child has exceeded his stated cuteness quota for 2006. I must further warn you that any repeat of this sort of extreme cuteness will result in a visit from one of our agents who will have no choice but to stand around saying "aahhh what a sweetie" a lot and generally getting under your feet. You have been warned

5:50 AM  
Blogger something blue said...

Oh that innocent, adorable face. It would be hard not to crack a smile at him and the big mess.

Can you spare a square?

7:51 AM  
Anonymous Much More Than A Mom said...

Hehe! I love it!

I'm Canadian and I still would have bought a case of the Bush stuff to give out as party favours.

Damn, your kid is Ceeeeyooote!
Cute, Cute, Cute!!

7:57 AM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

ROTL! (which isn't easy to do when you're pregnant)

*You* should get the first Funny Award!

9:13 AM  
Blogger Babaloo said...

Wow, Little Guy sure knows how to entertain. Both himself and others! My dog was into toilet paper for a while, but it was never as cute and amusing as in these pictures!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Mona said...

Hahaha! Screw those cartoon bears! You need to send that to the Charmin folks for their new ad campaign.

9:37 AM  
Blogger Great Day said...

I have a suggestion for you. If you put the TP on the roll, so the peice hangin down is underneath, it's harder for them to get.

If it's on top, it's too easy to quickly unroll.

BTW - my bug LURVES her some TP, she will carry tissues around, blowing her nose and wiping the walls, then shredding them into 10 million pieces for me to vacuum.

9:55 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Great Day: that is an EXCELLENT idea! You are so clever. I will definitely try that.

Waya: thanks, I hadn't seen that one. I will check it out. I may try do nominations for this award--like the Perfect Post Awards do...

O Mama Mia: OMG, that is hilarious! People, go check out this link for more kiddie pottie humor...http://omamamia.com/?p=131

10:33 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

You're damn right I'm mad, look at my unitard.

YOU CRACK ME UP!!!

10:48 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Hey, Gabey here from Little Bald Doctors. I've hijacked my mom's blogger account again to tell Little Guy that I like the toilet paper too.

But here's the thing. If you put the end of the paper into the toilet water without tearing it and then you flush, you can watch the water pull the paper off the roll. WEEEEE! Terribly funny! It only takes about three flushes to go through a roll, so have back ups.

But be careful. Because sometimes the toilet will stop up, leaking water onto the rug and out to the carpet in the hallway. If that happens, and your mom is anything like mine (which I think she is with the accounting, writing, piano playing, not-so-much-into-music-and-shoes thing, and Stephen King reading that they keep raving about) then she'll be fighting mad. So grab the plunger (that rubber thing on a stick) and pretend your Harry Potter and fly away on your rubber broomstick. Ha ha ha! That'll take up an afternoon.

Your friend,
Gabey

12:08 PM  
Blogger screaming girl said...

My son went through that stage too. Be warned - he quickly moved on to always wanting to carry a handful of wipes around. Toilet paper is less expensive, but at least he cleans the couch with the wipes!

1:29 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

That is great. Yeah I don't get the facination with toilet paper. My kid STILL has a thing for bandaids.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Mamacita Tina said...

It rolls and rolls and rolls and never stops, especially since mommy keeps putting more on.

2:15 PM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

Oh I remember those horrifying days, toilet paper everywhere. And he is just too delicious for words.

And, Bush can wipe my butt any day.....

7:15 PM  
Blogger Nikkie said...

Okay, that is just hilarious! I love that picture at the end is just priceless!

7:32 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

the photos of your son are so deliciously adorable. I heart that cute kid.

p.s. you are an awesome, fabulous writer, and your blog is divine. it is. and you *are*.

heart you.

xoxoxo

8:13 PM  
Blogger EC said...

What a cutie!!

5:48 AM  
Blogger Pattie said...

He is just adorable! I love the curly hair!
Hmm...regarding who's toilet paper gets used the most...Bush or Kerry...hmmm...that's a tough one! :)

6:36 AM  
Blogger Catherine said...

I don't know who I feel more sorry for... You, for having to do clean-up... Little Guy, when it's time to clean-up... or the toilet paper, because, wow, it's gotta suck to be so unraveled. :)

SO. CUTE!

6:45 AM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Those captions are awesome. I cracked up at the one about straining the peas.

And Little Guy is adorable, as always.

8:21 AM  
Blogger carrie said...

This too, shall pass.

Now, how come I can't find that Bush toilet paper at Costco? I would buy a case of it! (that sounds naughty, bush toilet paper, thanks for the laugh!)

Carrie

11:09 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Waya: thanks for the link to Anne's blog. I love it!

Gabey: how nice of you to comment. Does your mother know you're on the computer??

5:13 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

I would get some of that Bush TP if only I could stand to look at his face any more than I have to.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous Danielle said...

He is adorable--kids are so cute surrounded my mounds of toilet paper...unless their mine :-)

My youngest likes to tear off tiny pieces and flush each little piece down the toilet-individually!

7:02 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

oh my that is too cute (when it is not your kid I swear it is cute!)

Toilet paper is nice and soft and would make a great toy!

7:40 PM  
Blogger Farm Girl said...

Perhaps he was a cat in his last life.....

9:26 PM  
Blogger Queso said...

Great photos. Pull those out for his prom date.

7:42 AM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

What a cutie. My 2 year old stuffs the entire toilet FULL of the tp. Then takes off his diaper and poops on the ground. GRRRR>..

2:45 PM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

Ha ha! That's awesome. My kids like TP, too. They're going to be great toilet paperers one day (I'm thinking trees in yards, that kind of thing.)

That Bush TP is funny, too. Sold out! Too bad... :)

4:33 PM  
Blogger Tracie said...

We bought one of those pretty stand up toilet paper holders and ever since then it is toilet paper all over the floor as soon as I turn my head. Uhg!

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Gabey said...

Nope, my mom is too busy unclogging the toilet. She finally got the "broom" away from me.

9:50 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Oh my gosh, Gabey, you have your OWN profile! That is so grown up of you! When will you be starting your own blog :)

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

Little Guy is so cute! My baby loves toilet paper too! Sigh. :-)

9:27 PM  
Blogger Feminist Mom said...

Anyone with kids can really relate to that picture, what a great shot!

3:52 PM  
Blogger Nabeel said...

welll .. as long as its the first and the last time for the tissue roll .. did you tell him not to play with the roll .. or was he just trying to get some out and couldn't figure out how to tear it?

4:02 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

LOL my Lil Man worships those bears too. Everytime he goes to the bathroom you can hear him singing "Ahh Charmin Ultra, that feels good". LMAO

3:09 PM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

I laughed so hard while reading this post! Those pictures are adorable.

Too bad about the Bush paper being sold out. I could really use some of that....

7:50 PM  

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