Sunday, June 08, 2008

How You Know You're Not Having a Good Weekend

1. The suppository that you administered to your toddler didn't work. He never pooped. It's been 8 days.

2. You threw a 2-lb plastic laugh and learn toy at your husband.

3. You later threw a bowl of guacamole on the ground after you opened up three avocados and realized they weren't ripe enough yet.

4.You screamed your head off in the shower for 3 minutes. And then you cried.

5. Your other son has bleeding sores on his back because he excema isn't healing. You now think you might have to start putting steroid creams on him. You are not happy about that. At all.

6. You have so much to doooooooooooooo and yet you feel like you can't accomplish anything.

7. You feel alone.

8. You feel that life is sucky and then you realize many people have it so much harder than you and then you feel even worse for being such a lame-ass fucking loser.

*Warning: posts may not be very cheery for a little while. Life feels heavy. I'm not sure why exactly but it does. And it's not just about poopy problems and excema. It's just about that feeling of not feeling good. Of feeling angry and sad and depressed and angry. Angry enough to throw things. Which I do often. In front of my kids. I fucking hate myself sometimes.

22 Comments:

Blogger slssasmom said...

Been there, trust me. All you can do is keep plugging away at it and sooner or later it gets better. Venting helps.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

We've all been there. I asked my gyno about it and she said it was hormones. I've started taking St. John's Wort and a B-complex vitamin. Seems to be leveling off my mood swings and I've lost that heavy, anxious feeling. You can get them both at the drug store or supermarket.

7:50 PM  
Blogger Bianka said...

:( You are not alone.. it totally feels like it, though. Just take things a day at a time, or even an hour at a time if you need to.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

Aw, I'm sorry. All of that sucks.

I have been down the chronic constipation road with my kid, so drop me an email if you want some advice. One thing I would definitely recommend, if your kid will and can eat this? DRIED BLUEBERRIES. You can get them pretty cheap at Target.

Also, for eczema, if you have not tried this already: olive oil in the bath.

9:59 PM  
Blogger www.restlesshousewife.com said...

Hang in there - you'll be fine. You're so not a loser and you're so not alone. We've (mothers) all been there in some way, shape, or form.

There may be people that have it "harder" than you - but it's all relative.

Try to keep in mind that this is just a small part of the much bigger picture.

11:15 PM  
Blogger Scary Mommy said...

:(
It's not easy, is it?
Hope you are feeling better, that weekend does sound pretty crappy (or, not...but hopefully soon!)

3:19 AM  
Blogger Feener said...

oh man, i have BEEN there. you feel spent, not normal spent, MAJOR spent, so you yell, and feel all angry, and then the guilt folds in and overtakes you. my daughter has such poop problems it is hell !!! have you tried miralax ? i do it everyday, and life is better. as for the skin stuff, i have bad rashes, my girls haven't had anything to bad, but when they do i use aquaphor and that has helped. hang in there. you are not alone, these days will pass, give yourself a break. you are human.

4:53 AM  
Blogger Blogversary said...

You are not a loser.

Take care of yourself and I hope things smooth out.

7:01 AM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

Not. A. Loser. Not. A. Loser. Not. A. Loser.

I'll repeat that until you believe it. But I do understand the self-resentment that comes with not being able to restrain myself when I feel like screaming or throwing things.

Poop issues: I read somewhere that a Q-tip, swabbed with Vaseline and swirled gently around the rectum can help, uh, "grease the works" so to speak. It's supposed to be used for babies, and I don't know if you're talking about Little Guy or the baby. I must've missed that part. Anyway, I'm sure if you've gone the suppository route, it's probably not going to work for just a greased up Q-tip.

Wow, 8 days. I'd be afraid, too. I'm thinking it might be time for the doctor, as un-fun as that is. There could be something else going on.

C, you know I adore you. You were one of my first ever blogging friends, one of the first people to whom I felt somewhat close, and if you need to talk, you can always email me and we can trade phone numbers. I have free long distance on my cell phone. Let me know if you need to vent. I'll listen. Happily.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

This may sound weird, but I always freak out when summer begins. It's supposed to be wonderful, but it's like winter for me. I think it's because our family is always having financial woes this time of year.

And yes, I've been known to throw things. Let it out!

9:51 AM  
Anonymous beth - total mom haircut said...

Oh my goodness, we have all been there, and I'm sorry that that's where you are. Things can be so overwhelming sometimes, and yes, many others have it worse, but that doesn't make it any easier. I hate myself when I feel so unhappy even though I WANT to be happy and know that I SHOULD be happy. But we can't be happy all the time. And sometimes it's all just too much.

I was standing in the kitchen just this morning telling my husband that if he didn't get his ass in the living room and get Sam to stop saying "mommy, mommy, mommy..." that I was going to start screaming and not stop, or that I was going to go and get in the car and drive away. And I totally meant it. It wasn't even 8:30 yet.

And I'm sorry about what's going on with your kids. Knowing your kids are having problems makes everything so much worse - it makes you feel like you have no control and are helpless.

11:09 AM  
OpenID annenahm said...

Hugs. Hope it is better soon.

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel that way right now! Just decided this weekend that I need to talk to a professional. So, me and you have lots to talk about.
Andrea

1:35 PM  
Blogger Crazed Mom said...

I can relate and my boys are 17 and 19. I hope you can work out the anger and self-loathing(so been there) and everything. HUGS!!

aka JaniceNW

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

I think there's something in the proverbial air. Seems like everyone is kind of feeling that way.

But most importantly, you're SO not a loser.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Michele Dawson said...

I think it's time for a little Mommy sabbatical. I think this was actually an Oprah topic years ago. We'll have to look it up ...

2:59 PM  
Blogger Lynette said...

Not alone..Not a loser.
Life is not all butterflies and lollipops. We've all been THERE (or some crappy variation of) and it gets better.

Let how you feel OUT, there's more room out here and you will find that you are not as alone as you think.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Email me if you want Miralax dosing information. And we use Desonate on KayTar when we need to and we haven't seen any negative effects from it. But we also have her on a twice daily inhaled corticosteroid to keep her asthma under control, so we have learned to live with the necessary evil of steroids.

1:48 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

oh, baaaabe.

i just - wanna hug you so hard.

and feed you lollipops and chocolates and pet your hair and maybe sneak you away to a spa where you can spend some quality time BY YOURSELF.

honey.

xoxoxooxoxxoxoxoo

7:12 PM  
Blogger Karly said...

Oh, I've been there. The last time I threw something was one of those stand up oscillating fans. I threw it through my bedroom window. My very expensive bedroom window. Actually, it worked out for the best because now I don't throw things anymore. I'm too scared of what I might break.

Good luck. Feel better. Hang in there.

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Polina said...

Life is like a zebra you know, white stripe/black stripe... sometimes there are days when just EVERYTHING goes wrong, but then something happens and good things start happening more often and life seems to feel better:)
hope you are on the white stripe soon:)

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally there. I have a 6 month old and a stressful job to boot. I've been jumping rope. It's insanely hard and I can only do it for a minute or two. But I'm outside, it wears me out, gets my heart going and for a minute or two i have both feet off the ground - which feels good.

7:24 PM  

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