Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Clueless

Me: You know, our 5-year anniversary is coming up on Friday and we haven’t even talked about what we’re going to do yet.

Husband: Oh, don’t worry about it, I already have something planned.

Me: Oooh, really? What?

Husband: I thought we could have dinner in. Just you, me, and Little Guy.

Me: You mean like we do every Friday night?

Husband: No, this will be a special dinner. I’m going to cook it for you.

Me: (not impressed)

Husband: Wait, hear me out. I’m going to cook shiskabobs....Barbecue them-on the grill! We haven’t barbecued once this whole summer. It’ll be fun!

Me: (shooting him a "you-can't-be-fucking-serious look”)


Husband: What? What’s wrong with that? I'm gonna skewer fish and bell peppers. Maybe some onions too.

Me: (Oh, shit, he is serious.)

*sigh*

I love this man, but romantic he is not.

55 Comments:

Anonymous Moobs said...

Looks like he is not as well trained as you had thought.

1:12 AM  
Blogger Erica Douglas said...

Yip, that would be mu husband too. Strong hinting required next year :)

3:50 AM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

So funny. I mean don't scewers= romance?!?

His intentions seem there but the execution ... not so much :)

4:12 AM  
Anonymous Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom said...

Sounds familiar. My husband has good intentions, but his ideas for special nights often involve something that HE wants, eg, steaks on the grill, going to a car show, going to the gun and knife show... Looks like we both have more training to do!

5:09 AM  
Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

He must be my husbnad's long-lost brother. I swear.

Where did the romantic guy go after we said "I do"? Need to send out a search party.

5:24 AM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Hee. Oh shish-ka-bobs...the skewers of love.

6:12 AM  
Blogger me said...

umm you get no sympathy...i spent my 10th at a race track, watching him drive his car in circles and didn't even get dinner (or anything else later) cause he was TIRED after driving all day. woohoo..sorry ladies he's all mine!

6:39 AM  
Blogger Alli's Mom said...

I'm with Christina, my husband is their other long lost brother. Trust me, he'd think that was romantic too. Wow! Dinner in on a Friday night for our anniversary....somebody, please tell me how (besides he cooks instead of you) that is any different from every other night at our house? LOL!!!

Happy Anniverary anyway!

6:40 AM  
Blogger Pendullum said...

Happy Anniversary...

Go buy yourself a really good bottle of champagne...
a nice dress...
and incredibly high heeled shoes...
and just sit by the BBQ drinking your champagne...

and let him cook for you ...

6:46 AM  
Anonymous chelle said...

hehe I like pendullum's idea!!


My husband has the best intentions as well, but yeah romantic he is not either!

7:23 AM  
Blogger The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Oh that post killed me! He's a total guy, huh? Too funny...soo sorry.

7:28 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

Well errr...at least he's cooking for you, right? I'm pretty blessed with a romantic husband. He recently booked us a getaway cruise in January. He called it an anniversary present. I called it a will-to-live-and-survive-the-next-six-months-with-a-newborn.

At least your hubs didn't cook you elk on Mother's Day like my best friend's husband. Especially since she doesn't even like elk and ended up getting some fast food for herself.

7:36 AM  
Blogger Knitting Maniac said...

Fish and bell peppers. Yummy....

When you get up into the years after 10, that is when it becomes reallllly sad. For our 12th anniversary this year, we looked at one another and said "did you get me something?" "no... did you?" "No.... ok ... good."

7:45 AM  
Blogger ems said...

Ah yes, the whole, "let's have a romantic dinner--at home."

I usually have post-its up 2 weeks before that read, "you better have something planned, or the sh56's going to hit the fan. Your wife."

7:59 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Race tracks, gun and knife shows....oh, I'm so glad I'm not alone!

Knitting Maniac: too funny. I have a feeling that's gonna be us real soon too.

Amber: I need your husband to call my husband. Stat.

Ems: oh, good idea. Post-its. I have two more days to plant those around the house...

And yes, it certainly does appear that I have more work to. I guess it's back to the drawing board. LOL. In the meantime, Pendullum, I got the dress and high heels ready. I guess you just gotta make the best of it sometimes.

8:10 AM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

yeah, seriously would not be impressed either. you need to hijakc this one, lady. serious.

i've just had to convince my husband that hiring a babysitter to look after boy when we go to dinner party on friday is a GOOD IDEA. GOOD for US. hosts invited kids, but they have no kids of their own. or tv. and elegant dinner planned. they were just being very nice. i.e. recipe for having no fun if you bring offspring (IMHO).

8:35 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Well, it could totally be worse. Our 5 year anniversary is this November, and we get to spend it (and pretty much the whole weekend) at a wedding rehearsal and wedding the next day. There go my dreams of even getting a sitter. Because all our sitters? Guests at the wedding.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Kel said...

My last anniversary we went to Red Lobster with our 2 1/2 year old. I was pregnant with Bean and romantic it was not.

I'm curious to see what new anniversary hell I'll be in this year.

Good luck with yours, hopefully he'll nix the grilling for something better.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

I highly suggest the "Shock Collar for Dummies" approach. It's worked well for me in curbing male stupidity, though you should know it's not a permanent solution.

Many husbands were injured in the testing of this product

9:10 AM  
Blogger Catch said...

and people wonder why I enjoy being dovorced! LoL

9:16 AM  
Blogger virtualsprite said...

yep.. that's about the speed of things in my house, too. Just think, though... you can always use the skewers from dinner to stab him if things really get bad.

Good luck and try to have fun!

9:19 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

"Shock Collar for Dummies"? Skewer turned deadly weapon?

You guys are tough. But I like it, I like it... :)

9:35 AM  
Blogger Nikkie said...

Why do men always think BBQ is fun? I don't see whats fun about it, its cooking, just on a different medium. Oh boy, meat prepared a different way with dishes I still have to clean!

Anyway, I've been reading your blogg for a while now and I just love it!

Try to have fun and happy anniversery!

9:45 AM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

Maybe there's a trick involved. Like, maybe there will be some jewelry on one of those skewers. If not, the skewers can be turned into a weapon . . . .

9:48 AM  
Blogger lildb said...

sunnuvaBITCH!

I agree with the idea to hijack les plans.

do it, sister. iffen you want an anniversary to remember. for something other than being royally pissed for the underwhelming factor.

xoxo

9:52 AM  
Blogger Chantal said...

Testify. Testifreakingfy.

10:00 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

Girl, I know what you mean. Dave's amazing but he sucks in the romance department. He probably will pinch my butt this year on our anniversary and ask if I want to go have sex in the van like rebels.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Happy0303 said...

Yikes! Why can't men understand the importance of anniversaries.

Oh yeah, it was me who forgot ours this year. DH got me a card and gift and I had no clue as to why. Ooops!

11:18 AM  
Blogger Farm Girl said...

I guess the thought of ditching the baby never entered his mind?

2:47 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

I've never had a FISH-kabob before. Sounds deelish. And, hey, maybe there's more to his planning then he's letting on...candles? wine?? A Target gift certificate, maybe?

3:03 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

Oh I guess you could say its the thought that counts, but sometimes its best to leave it at a thought.

3:12 PM  
Blogger Great Day said...

well at least he thought of SOMETHING - my husbands response when I remind him of upcoming anniversary when something like this, "so what did you plan for us?"

It could always be worse, I hope the bobs are good!

4:16 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Happy Anniversary. Make sure he cleans up the grill and dishes, too -- it might not be all bad. ;-)

4:43 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Catherine, if I get a Target gift certificate then ALL will be forgiven. I mean, who needs diamonds when you can shop at Target? Right? Right? (*she says as she tries to smile through the tears*)

4:57 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Hysterical!! I think my husband went to the same "school of romance" that your's did...

5:49 PM  
Blogger Ruth Dynamite said...

Clueless, but pure of heart. Nowadays, a man grilling for his woman is akin to the days when men ventured forth into the wilderness to slay beasts (that the woman would then have to skin, gut, clean and cook, mind you). I'd let him see his manly vision to fruition and, next year, leave him lots of clues spelling out exactly what you want. Happy anniversary!

5:51 PM  
Blogger beth said...

Oh the horror. We also have an anniversary coming up and what you have just described could easily be the plan my husband has in his mind. That, or neither one of us will think of anything special to do (me, because I will decide it is his responsibility) and we will do nothing out of the ordinary.

Stopped over here from DYM.

5:55 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh, man. Can you at least have a bottle of wine with your grilled food? At least a touch of romance in there somewhere? Or would he prefer beers?

6:02 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

It's the fire - Tell him he could have a BIG fire if he went camping....

6:10 PM  
Blogger bubandpie said...

I was just laughing this morning at a radio beer commercial that expressed nostalgia for the good old days when "barbequing was considered taking the wife out for dinner." And I thought, there's gotta be a post in there somewhere... You and I are obviously on the same wave length lately with post ideas! (Don't let me stop you from posting your humid-day curly-head pictures!)

6:51 PM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

You're singin' my song sister! We never do anything romantic unless I plan it all.
After 5 years of marriage romance to a man is usually **nudge nudge..hey, you wanna??

8:43 PM  
Anonymous la agua fresca - ready to go home? said...

Happy anniversary!

He might not be THAT romantic, but he seems like a very nice guy!

:D

10:19 PM  
Blogger Pattie said...

BBQ at home with the Little Guy??? Gee, the thing is, the intention is pure, so it must be hard to get mad at him....

Oh, and I like Pendullum's idea...

10:46 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Your hubby and my boyfriend Tim must be hanging out because Tim doesn't have a romantic bone in his body (and I HATE IT). I try to coax it out, but no go. LOL. He's too shy.

7:26 AM  
Blogger Bridgermama said...

Then after dinner you can stab him with one of those fabulous skewers! I feel completely at liberty to say this because I am also married to a lovely romance-void man.

10:18 AM  
Blogger kim said...

I was just reading your last few posts and cracking up!!!
Your husband is such a GUY... and its so funny that we all complain about pretty much the same things.

I think maybe you should buy yourself something wonderful for your anniversary, something you really really want, pamper yourself, then show him what you got for yourself .......and get him a new oven mitt for the bbq and a new pair of tongs :)

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Caryn said...

LOL! Well, points to him for planning something first, and it's cute that he thought you'd be so delighted. Still, I agree--not terribly romantic.

12:32 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Let him make the shishkebabs on Friday night. Then tell him that you've made reservations for Saturday night so that he can see how the other half - the ROMANTIC half - lives.

Happy anniversary!

7:09 PM  
Blogger Mega Mom said...

Who are these 47 freaking people? You ho.

My husband liked this one and some of your archives too. He may call your husband while we're at BlogHer :)
PS had to type aeeeek to comment.

7:54 PM  
Blogger ~d said...

We were knocked up on our first anniversary-I was 8 weeks preg I guess-maybe more...anyway, we BOTH 'forgot' the anniversary. Not a good, umm, pattern to set

7:58 PM  
Blogger Crystal Breeze said...

At least he tried....

9:21 PM  
Blogger IMMomsDaughter said...

Happy Anniversary anyway. My hubs can join yours, birds of the same feather. I say, as long as we are happy...

11:14 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Hey, you tell my husband to get his ass home!

Happy Anniversary!

12:14 AM  
Blogger Oblivious Maven said...

Lol. Hey, there are many fish in the sea, and you got one that cooks! I wouldn't have thrown him back, either. But you would think with all those fish bones, there would be a romantic bone in that body somewhere, lol. :)

10:00 AM  
Blogger Nancy said...

My husband gave me a shower head for valentines one year. Ha! It was a nice gesture, since I wanted one that comes off to bathe the dog with, but not exactly romantic! :) I love him anyway.

3:48 PM  

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