Monday, August 28, 2006

Doo-Goodey Mommyblogger Turned Vicious Troll Monster?

A few months ago, I submitted my blog to IT2M for a review. Perhaps you’ve heard of this site. They review blogs and usually tear people apart like nobody’s business. And they can be mean when they do it. Really mean. Especially when it comes to mommy blogs.

Like virtually every other person who submits their site for review, I thought they would like my blog. Maybe not love it, but at least like it enough not to want to scratch out their eyeballs and swallow them whole.

Well, I thought wrong.

They finally reviewed me on Friday and promptly ripped me a new asshole and told me to go to therapy. (Uh, newsflash IT2M: I'm already IN therapy, so there.)

Here is my favorite quote from the review:
She needs to find some self esteem outside of her bloggy life. Unfortunately, she is using her blog and her readers to qualify and validate herself. This makes her a very sad person in my eyes.
Ouch. And double ouch.

For the record, IT2M, I don't use my blog to boost my self esteem. I have homeless men to do that for me, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

The one good thing I got out of the review was that she let me know that I had misspelled the word “margaritas” on my sidebar. Yeah, I feel like an idiot now. Kinda like when you have food in your teeth and no one tells you?

But here's where this whole thing gets embarrassing. And it has nothing to do with the review. It has to do with my reaction to the review.

Upon reading the comments that ensued from the post, which were all equally mean, I clicked over to one of the meanie's sites and found myself leaving her a comment about her site that was, well, less than nice. One might even say it was borderline mean. This was something I've NEVER done before.

And in that moment, I had sunk to their level. I was no better than...

*gasp*

a troll.

It's embarrassing even to admit this. And as the day wore on, I felt bad about it so I left her a comment to apologize, which then sparked much more nastiness in my direction, on both the IT2M blog and on the meanie's blog.

Apparently, you can't be a troll with a conscience.

Anyhow, truth be told, a small part of me found it fun to stir up a bit of mama drama on the Internet. I actually had to resist the temptation to duke it out with the meanies online. So, sheesh, come to think of it, perhaps they're right. Maybe I do need therapy.

********************
*Just to be clear, I am not actually in therapy, IT2M, nor do I plan to go to therapy. Not that there would be anything wrong if I were in therapy. But, FYI, this is an example of tongue-in-cheek humor.

70 Comments:

Blogger IMMomsDaughter said...

Triggered your dark side eh? Heh heh...well we can't make everybody happy. As long as there are bloggers reading my blog & leaving comments, that's good enough for me :)

12:43 AM  
Blogger Absent.Canadian said...

Hmmm ... I just submitted my site to them a few minutes before finding this blog. I wonder what thrashing I'll receive ...

3:17 AM  
Anonymous krista said...

That site is pure evil. I was sucked into its drama too, in a moment of weakness. I was expecting a mean review, but it was the comments that hurt more. I don't know why exactly...

3:56 AM  
Anonymous emma said...

I agree, trolling is bad for the soul. Still, it was only one fall from grace. Don't let the meanies get to you and have a margarita on me! You've made me want to submit my own blog to that site, just to feel the pain.

5:07 AM  
Blogger sunshinedaily4me_wuz_here said...

I don't think I would submit my site to them...Mine isn't nearly as clever as yours so I know they would blast it mercilessly - anyway, love your blog and if your in therapy - no big deal! hee hee

5:57 AM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I started a blog fight awhile back (TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT - said something that someone took offense to, tried to make nice, etc.) It's a drag. I'm sorry they trashed you. I hope it comforts you to know that we're all reading and enjoying you. (Whatever ITH20M - or whatever their name was.)
OTJ

5:58 AM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

Oh, those bitches. I submitted my blog, and the day they chose to review it was right after my MIL had died and I had written a post about how stressed out I felt. The comments on the ITTM site where that I has pathetic and whiny and how if I was grieving why did I have time to blog?

Then someone came to my blog from there and left me a comment that I must not have loved my MIL if all I could think about was myself. Of course that person had a phony name and email address. I wrote an open reply and then tried to forget about it. But it bugged me for weeks.

Feeding the trolls just gives them more validation. I will never understand why some people enjoy being mean and vicious, but they do. Having met you in person, I can say that you have plenty of self esteem! But I have to admit, I did notice you had margaritas spelled wrong. Sorry I didn't say anything ;)

6:13 AM  
Blogger Ruth Dynamite said...

Isn't it interesting how all the mean people are always anonymous?

I think you're great just the way you are.

6:34 AM  
Blogger bubandpie said...

I just visited that site yesterday after reading Mega Mom's post about it and I found it a bit bizarre. The reviews seem to be based primarily on colour and layout, with content coming in a distant third (possibly because it takes time and effort to actually READ a few posts!). And the tone was weird: on the one hand there is this kind of strenuous coolness, but on the other hand there is their sanctimonious humourlessness. My favourite kind of humour is the kind you do - the kind that involves exposing one's own vulnerabilities rather than directing mockery at someone else. But it's often misunderstood as poor self-esteem, when really it's just the opposite.

6:46 AM  
Anonymous O Mama Mia said...

You are not a troll, hun. But that site? ugh. shivers at their meanness. Its sad that people like that exist merely to rag on others. Nasty people.
And therapy? Sweety, 'mom'osas at noon, anyone??

6:48 AM  
Anonymous chelle said...

I think I understand the desire to submit your site, and for them to find a spelling error would sting. You are a brave soul to tempt fate like that.

I am glad you have come full circle in the process and learned you are perfect just the way you are!

6:51 AM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

I love your site and what you write about. F*ck 'em.

6:57 AM  
Blogger slackermommy said...

I think your blog is great and aren't you a brave one. I could never submit my blog, I'm way too sensitive. I can't even read their reviews because it makes me so uncomfortable. I got trolled the other day and it took me hours to shake it. In my opinion it takes a high self esteem to be able to submit a blog to the meanies. You're handling it well.

7:04 AM  
Blogger Pattie said...

I have been to that site, and I just find it plain mean in general. I have read their reviews, and I must say most of them are not positive. I think the point of it is to embarass people or humiliate them as a form of entertainment. For the "Record" I think you are fabulous. PHHHFFTTT...to them.

7:25 AM  
Blogger Cat said...

The comments hurt me too when I got my review and so I decided to become a commenter, knowing that if I took life too seriously then I was doing what I promised I would never do.

I have fun there but only because they have it pretty straightforward on the rules how things go.

I'm here via Click and Comment Monday--nice post and I think your apology was well written. I do the same stuff...I hate it but someone comments on my blog I get mad and sometimes react too fast. It's quite human. :D

And yeah, there is nothing wrong with therapy.

Anyhow, off to click your renter or someone on your blogroll and comment...I'm on a roll!

Have a good day.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous krome.obsession said...

I Submited a previous blog of mine for review.

The bits about my layout, spelling errors, and generally being boring wasn't what got me .. it was the comment from one of their readers about how they basically hated everything about my blog.

The reason this got me was because this person had previously rented space off me via BE, and made a point of commenting about how much they liked my blog and it's design.

7:42 AM  
Anonymous krome.obsession said...

Ohhh, and ...
Happy C&C babie!

7:43 AM  
Blogger green3 said...

Who the heck cares what they think?? I love your blog just the way it is!

8:11 AM  
Blogger Neurotic Mom said...

I tried leaving a comment earlier but something was messing up. I sent you an email about another blog review site that are actually nice.

9:17 AM  
Blogger EC said...

I don't know we as bloggers feel the need to go to that place and submit our blogs for review! Its like we think we are finally going to be the blog that they like :)

I keep saying we because, yes, I am a glutton for punishment too and submitted my blog.

You know what? Don't even worry about it, I for one, as well as numerous others love your blog! Who gives a crap what they say :)

9:54 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I don't care what other people say about you. I like you and I'll keep reading as long as you keep posting. And I know for a fact that Gabe likes you too. He keeps hijacking my computer and leaving comments without my knowledge, but only on your site. I guess I should be glad of that, cuz that kid could REALLY embarrass me.

Cheers! (clinking margarita glass)
Who cares how you spell it! As long as you know how to drink it! Like Grandpa Fred tells Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles when he asks how to spell quiche, "You don't spell it, son. You eat it!"

9:56 AM  
Blogger Mona said...

You can't be a troll if you have a conscience.

And I'm offering my internet drop-kicking services if you want. I could take that meanie.

10:04 AM  
Blogger The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Well, check out my review a couple thursdays ago!! They totally hated me...mostly cuz I'm a christian...but I think it's all in fun. I left some comments as well. I knew they would hate me...I didn't take any of it to heart though, and either should you, cuz you are great, and I love your blog!!

10:19 AM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Well their site is down right now. Maybe someone hacked them.

Don't let the bitches get you down, sweetie. You rock. You're clever and funny and I always come back for more. I read that Italk2much site once a few weeks back and I thought it was aninteresting concept but I wasn't entertained enough to return. This site, however, always brings me back.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Zephra said...

I noticed that the sites hat IT2M give great reviews to are the ones that I just don't like and I seem to like the ones that hate. Go figure.

And Puuulease, Who doesn't need therapy nowadays?

10:27 AM  
Blogger carrie said...

You are right. Mean People do suck! As for those so-called blog analysts, well they can go **** themselves!

Carrie

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Kailani said...

I got a reveiw a couple of months ago and didn't fare too well either. I think it was the "pink" thing.

I didn't really mind the negative review but it's the comments that got to me. I guess it's because I asked IT2M for their review, not the blogosphere's.

I think you and your blog are just fabulous! Look at how many visitors and comments you get. And you don't even have to resort to any kind of gimick to get people to visit you!

And what's wrong with being a Mommy Blogger anyway?

12:43 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Krista/Krome.obession/Kailani: That is exactly how I felt too. It was the comments that got to me more than the review. It was like I had prepared myself to be reamed by the reviewer, but not by other bloggers.

Elizabeth: That people would EVER make you feel bad while mourning the death of a family member is completely tasteless. How horrible. Even given what I know of the IT2M site, that still shocks me.

Slackermommy: sorry to hear you got trolled. It's hard for me to shake negativity too. It's like in my head I know it shouldn't matter, but it takes a while to get over.

Andrea: good point! cheers! *p.s. I hear Gabey has been at it with the toliet paper again. You're probably plunging the toliet right about now :)

Flipflop mama: You're right to shake it off. That is the best attitude. By the way, I love your blog as well!

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Much More Than A Mom said...

Ouch! Some little girls have WAY too much time on their hands.

How sad will they be when they grow up? I hope they mature before they reproduce.

2:27 PM  
Blogger CyberCelt said...

Here for Click & Comment Monday from Its my life as uninteresting as it may be!

3:29 PM  
Blogger Nyx said...

They do sound horrible, mean and incredibly shallow. It sounds like they're reviewing your whole blog by reading a small proportion of posts, it's like judging a book by its cover!

I tried to access their site because I thought it would be fun to review them but there site is down. That is what I call Karma.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

I would not submit my blog to them...who in the hell are they???? Obviously if they sit around and read blogs all day they have no life...and they are so mean and rude, do you really think they are happy people? Nahhhh....

3:45 PM  
Blogger The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

I went and read your review. They were way nicer to you than they were to me! They did my review on the day I wrote about my hubby being asked to resign...they did not like me!

3:46 PM  
Blogger Babaloo said...

LOL! I always wondered what a "virtual margarite" was and thought that I would much rather enjoy a "virtual margarita!" Gah! I guess it is to late to tell you about the spinach in your teeth? If I knew it was a misspelling the whole time? I would have told you!

4:14 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Ahhh, I can understand your reaction completely. I don't dare subject myself to the same fate....

4:39 PM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

A girl needs to stand up for herself sometimes, and we do not always want to be nice...and accepting of an other persons judgement.

I submitted my site to Blogburst, and they have snubbed me...fruck em I say....

Oh and in my opinion...you cannot spell margarita properly when you are sucking on back and having a good time...phonetics baby!

4:55 PM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

You're braver than I am. The reviewer doesn't realize you need a good dose of healthy self-esteem just to submit your blog for review! =:+{}

5:19 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Ah, so their site is down eh?

I guess my IT2M voodoo doll actually works! Cool. Virtual marguerites for everyone!

5:29 PM  
Anonymous Peggy said...

This is my first time here and I've actually enjoyed myself. Frig em!

5:34 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I'm here for C&C Monday (although it's Tues down under now, besides, it's kinda nice to think I'm still a day younger somewhere out there in the world!)

I been in the IT2M site quite a number of times. And a while ago I submitted my blog too. I have no idea whether they're going to like me or not, at the time I did it purely to try getting some traffic for the big 9/11 project that I'd posted about (button on my sidebar). Can't expect that now due to the amount on their list but come what may. Whatever they come out with I'll take on board if it's constructive, if not, I'll laugh it off, no biggie :) *shrug*

I like your site by the way, I find the yellow quite peaceful and calming AND furthermore, I love your little boy with his toilet paper fetish! he's adorable!

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Danielle said...

I'm picky with the blogs i read--and you're one of my faves! They obviously don't know what they're talking about!

I decided to do something similar with the owner of a rather large, popular tech blog, before I had my blog. It didn't go quite the way I hoped--were they such meanies before their blogs got a gazillion hits a day or is that what made them better than the rest of us?!?

6:01 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I've never actually visited the site, just seen the IT2M buttons on sidebars. But it does kind of sound like a masochistic sort of place. Kind of like calling in to the Howard Stern show - you know you're gonna get abused, but maybe you'll get a free boob job out of it.

6:39 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Oh damn! You're a real life troll?! It's always the sweet, nice ones that cause the most trouble.

And, is it strange that every time I think about trolls I think about troll dolls? I'm picturing you with crazy pink hair. I've got to say in my mind it works on you.

7:07 PM  
Blogger Queso said...

Well, I like your blog. I think you're funny and great. And nice. So there.

7:08 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

I already emailed you about how I feel, so I won't diahrrea-comment about it again. suffice it to say that it's true, it's all true. you're as fabulous as everyone here has already said. and if you're a troll, then you're the nicest troll in the history of them.

xoxoxo

7:20 PM  
Blogger Tracy said...

Happy C&C Monday! I'm here through Cat's blog (and IT2M)...

Hope you had a wonderful Monday! :)

8:42 PM  
Anonymous roo said...

Yeah!

9:36 PM  
Blogger K. said...

I thought about submitting my blog to them, but um, I never saw ANYONE get good reviews. And I just don't want to do that to myself. *lol*

3:53 AM  
Blogger metro mama said...

Don't listen to them. You're fabulous.

8:06 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

As I said to you in e-mail, I don't think they're really all that cool. They have no point but to make fun of and hate on others, and trying to confront them (or the commenters) is often pointless, since they'll try to rip you apart no matter what you say.

Far too much negativity for me. I've been in that dark place, and it only makes you more sad to give in to it.

11:00 AM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

Well you already know what I think about their site and their review and your reaction to it.

But now I am with Mrs.Chicky - I am picturing you with crazy pink hair!

12:04 PM  
Blogger Chantal said...

Every once in a while I think I'll submit mine to see what they say. Then I chicken out. Then I remember that they're just regular people and you don't get traffic by being all nicey nice and loving everyone, right? Your writing and fan base speaks for itself MOTR and you rock, IMO.

1:56 PM  
Blogger mrsmogul said...

WOW that's crazy!!! Trolls are sucky! And that site, stay away!! ME stay away!!

2:12 PM  
Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

IT2M is a crap site, with crap people who have nothing better to do than be nasty to other people in order to make themselves feel special.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Screw them. I love your blog. I'm curious to see what they say about me- maybe I'll submit. LOL.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Moobs said...

No Luke .. er ... MotR I am your Father. Join me and together we can rule the Galaxy.

Embrace the dark side.

4:48 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Don't tempt me Moobs. :)

5:16 PM  
Blogger Random Musings Of My Life said...

Its funny what the internet can make you do..
I mean we publish random stuff about out lives and people come back every day to read it...

6:26 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

I have only one thing to say. Comment moderation.

That and screw 'em. If they don't like your blog I say don't read it. That's what the little red X is for in the right hand corner. HELLLLLLOOOOOOO.

Luv ya Mommy off the Record! And I hate trolls. But,you're not a troll.

6:31 PM  
Blogger something blue said...

Anyone who serves up plenty of rude, should surely take it. Don't beat yourself up about their negative feedback or your reaction.

You are a hilarious woman, sharing witty stories on your spectacular blog. I love yellow!

11:04 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

As I said in my e-mail to you, they're tards and should be ignored.

But. I'm glad that you sorta enjoyed the bit of excitement that came with strolling through a rougher 'hood and rumbling with the toughies...

5:03 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

I've never understood that site. Being mean just for kicks isn't my thang. You handled yourself well, and you know your blog rawks. :)

5:28 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Okay, so is there anyone out there--anyone?--who doesn't get a self-esteem boost from people saying nice things about them, on their blog or otherwise?

It's not an insult. It's a fact, and one you don't have to defend.

Glad you've moved on and are taking it all in stride.

8:02 PM  
Blogger kim said...

we love ya the way you are ....

meaness is now the "IN" thing...
its disgusting isnt it ? people are nasty and mean and call it "BEING HONEST" or "TELLING IT LIKE IT IS" which I think is bullshit frankly. From now on you just ask us and we can review you lol

psst by the way ...my verification word is przoac ... lol

11:33 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I'm far to scared to submit my site to any of that. I have delicate little feelings!

12:14 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

God. I thought that group of really mean girls had all married their gas station attendant love interests.

It pains me to know that they are still sitting at that same table, except in a different building. And probably all wearing the same eye shadow color too.

Shit. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water....

Not that I would submit my blog anywhere. I can't even post pictures. I am lucky that I am a fairly good speller. Yeah, I was the good speller at the smart girl's table while they were sitting at their table giving us ratings of 0-10 as we walked by. My outfits were generally a 3.

For what it is worth, I think your blog is very interesting. And I just know that I am smarter than they are.

We always are.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Laura, thank you for visiting and for your comment. I was the good speller too and rarely had the "right" brand of clothes.

And thanks to everyone else who commented here. Glad you all don't think differently of me. I promise I won't leave any trollish comments on your sites when I visit. :)

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Mama C-ta said...

Ah ha! I thought it was you I've seen trolling around.

Oh I kid, you are fabulous. I personally love misspellings, makes me feel right at home.

7:56 AM  
Blogger Sudiegirl said...

Darlin'...as one of my favorite lines in the movie "Goodfellas" goes...

"F**k 'em in the ear".

They are mean to the core. They accused me of all sorts of things because I stood up to them.

BTW, your blog is great, and to be honest, I'm working with a couple other people to create a blog review site where people who submit have a choice as to how they want to be reviewed (public or private, complete review or parts).

And the commenter that said it's hard to spell "margarita" right when you're kickin' back one is TOTALLY correct. I had a liter of them one night and I couldn't even walk.

:0)

Sudiegirl

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Ugh. you already know what I think about those people and their "reviews."

Your blog rocks, and your audience loves you.

3:49 PM  

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