Missing in Action
I've looked under the couch cushions, in the closet, under my bed, in the refrigerator. And yes, I've even looked down my shirt.
I've looked everwhere and nothing. I'm about to send out a search party if they don't turn up soon. Come to think of it, I may as well ask you:
By any chance, has anyone seen my boobs?
Cuz I had 'em a few weeks ago and now *poof* they seem to have disappeared. Into thin air. Gone. AWOL. Splitsville. Perhaps Little Guy sucked them up with his last feeding?
Or maybe there's a booby thief hitting mommybloggers in the dead of night. I'm typically not into conspiracy theories, but I think it's just a little too coincidental that I'm not the only mommyblogger out there to lose her boobs recently.
But seriously, Boobs, wherever you are. Please come back. I have a new low-cut black dress that's begging to be filled out. Thanks.
*******
Edited to add: False alarm everyone. I feel so lame. They were totally hiding in my butt the whole time. Thanks to Michele for reminding me to look there. I shoulda known.
I've looked everwhere and nothing. I'm about to send out a search party if they don't turn up soon. Come to think of it, I may as well ask you:
By any chance, has anyone seen my boobs?
Cuz I had 'em a few weeks ago and now *poof* they seem to have disappeared. Into thin air. Gone. AWOL. Splitsville. Perhaps Little Guy sucked them up with his last feeding?
Or maybe there's a booby thief hitting mommybloggers in the dead of night. I'm typically not into conspiracy theories, but I think it's just a little too coincidental that I'm not the only mommyblogger out there to lose her boobs recently. But seriously, Boobs, wherever you are. Please come back. I have a new low-cut black dress that's begging to be filled out. Thanks.
*******
Edited to add: False alarm everyone. I feel so lame. They were totally hiding in my butt the whole time. Thanks to Michele for reminding me to look there. I shoulda known.
posted by Cristina @12:00 AM
45 Comments:
I have a feeling I may have them. [Prods moobs]
DUDE. Mine too!
Do you think that they ran off together?
Were was the last place you saw them. Try to retrace your steps.
They'll turn up. Somewhere bad, like your butt or your thighs. Watch.
I found mine.
By my belly button.
Yeah, I lost mine, too. After an intensive investigation, I have concluded that they sank to my waistline.
Maybe yours and mine took a vacation together...down South :(
I'm LMAO at all of these comments. There's an excellent chance that mine are hiding in my butt. I'm off to investigate...
And then if I don't find them there, I'm coming after YOU Moobs.
Mine are missing too! LOL..love the comments here...
I'm still nursing and I'm shocked that my baby gets anything out of mine. I dread what they will look like when she weans. Baby #4 so it's gonna be BAD! I told hubby to start saving because there is a boob job and tummy tuck in my future.
I think they have jumped off your chest and onto mine, because even my largest nursing bra is now v.e.r.y tight!
Our little family is doing a fundraiser for the Cancer Society @ http://www.muchmorethanamom.com/?p=328
As with most bloggers, you have, like, 99 875 more readers than I do, so I thought this would be a good place to pimp it ;-)
That was the one downside to breastfeeding. My boobs were never the same again *sigh*, not that they were so great to begin with.
Mine are MIA too.
I found mine, they were hanging out by the waistband of my pants. Try looking there!
Mine have been MIA for years. I'd pay big bucks to get them back ... the actual ones not some new ones.
I left mine on the OR table. By choice. And I hope the NEVER come back. The reduction was my first birth, weighing in at 11 pounds of tissue removed. Yup. ELEVEN POUNDS. Gabe weighed 8 pounds when he was born.
I still have more boob than I want. You can have some. I'm all about sharing. Maybe a little black dress would be in my future then.
I had the opposite problem. I didn't lose mine, I got more. I thought when I was done nursing that they'd shrink down, but nope they stayed the same. I wish I could share!
I'm a 38DD pregnant, I was a 36D, if post baby I can go down to a 34/36 C I'll be one happy momma.
Might I be as bold as to suggest you ask your husband? Mine knows where mine are. All. The. Time. (no matter what size were, are or will ever be in the future!)
Now, where is that "Anonymous" option... gah, to late.
I think they all ran off to Vegas together. How dare they go without us!
I'm sure mine are in Vegas with the rest of yours. They deflated like baloons after a party when I stopped nursing, dammit.
I wish I'd lose mine!
I know, right?
here I am, trying to think positively about looking cute and attractive and somewhat boobalicious for my weekend away, and all I can think is, why do I have one sorta-breast and one non-breast? (although the one feeding/day on just one side might be the culprit I ought to be staring down.)
yeah. bleah.
This is so unfair. Mine are EXACTLY the size they were before the babies (32F)...did you HEAR THAT? 32 effing FFFFFFFFFFFF! I was really hoping the would go away, but nooooooooo.
Oh I am so sorry, mine disappeared 9 years ago only to return with the feeding of brother #2 and sister #3. Call the guard!
Carrie
I still have mine thank God, but they disappeared very quickly once I weaned my firstborn. I have been pregnant or nursing since then so I am afraid to see what will happen to them after I quit nursing #3. Good luck!
mine got bigger after each baby....started in a c cup...now up to a double d....thank goodness Im not having anymore babies!
Uh-oh. We're on the path to weaning over here. Should I be keeping my boobs locked down for fear they'll flee?
Andrea: finally something we DON'T have in common. Who would have thought it would be our boobs!
Oh the Joys: 32F? Wow. As someone who can probably squeeze herself into a 34A now, I think I speak for us both when I say, Can't we just find a happy medium? I think a small to med C cup would be nice.
Too bad Oh the Joys can't donate some of her extra ;)
Would it be nice to share the booby love? Freakin' F's!! Do you need a back brace to keep from falling over? You poor thing.
I don't know what to tell you. I still have mine but without an underwire bra they are like socks with tennis balls in the toes. It's just a case of embracing their new 'shape' or going for implants.
hehe ummm yeah so do not have that problem, except that I worry I will be looking for my breasts around my knees in ten years!!!
I WISH I could lose my titties!! they are such a freaking hassle!!!
I'm scared to go for a fitting. I'm worried I'm back to being a AAA.
If my boobs were bigger, my ass might look smaller. Right?
God...mine are just getting bigger...I think david is putting something in my water. I would prefer no boobs to the things I carry around now....
I'm glad to hear that you found them--they always go the last place you want them too, don't they!
Aww, and I really liked the running off to Vegas theory. Then there could have been the follow-up post where you go on a vacation/boobhunt to find them. :)
LOL! you just crack me up.
by the way, I'm only 32 and I lost mine a long time ago, and I'm still looking for them!
Glad I could help. I only spoke from experience, of course. Ha!
Now if only someone could tell us how to get them back where they belong...
(OMG! Suddenly I have that song UP WHERE WE BELONG by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes in my head! ...Lift us up where we belong! *snort*)
Actually I was going to fess up to the fact that I took 'em. They're here, on my weighed down breastfeeding nummy chest. They're just hangin' out. I know. The pun. It's awful. It just came out though...
That's where mine were too. Only I can't seem to get them back to where they used to be.
girl, you kill me!!!! That's so hilarious!!!!!
They're probably next to your keys.
Heh heh I love this post. Mine went down one size to NO size after I stopped bf :( Now, I suspect they've came back in the form of spare tyres around my waist *sob sob*
I can share some if you want. I have enough to go around
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