Excuse Me While I Vent For A Second
Tonight I made dinner. We had pork chops with plum chutney, peas and carrots, and rice pilaf, with a home-baked persimmon bread for dessert. I admit that it wasn't gourmet, but it was edible and it had most of the food groups so I was happy with it.
After supper I bathed Little Guy while Husband cleaned the kitchen. Upon briefly entering our bedroom to get something, I noticed that Husband had left all of his loose change on the ground. This is one of my pet peeves. Money will fall out of his pockets when he changes his clothes, and he won't pick it up. I am always having to get after him about this because I know that Little Guy will put coins in his mouth and he could choke to death on them. It completely annoys me that after TWO years of telling Husband to be more careful, I STILL find change everywhere.
I hate to vent about Husband here. I rarely do it. Usually Husband is great. He is funny and helpful and a good dad. There are a lot of great things about him. But tonight he pissed me off. And I have to vent. I don't care if I did throw loose change at him. He was being a jerk.
After supper I bathed Little Guy while Husband cleaned the kitchen. Upon briefly entering our bedroom to get something, I noticed that Husband had left all of his loose change on the ground. This is one of my pet peeves. Money will fall out of his pockets when he changes his clothes, and he won't pick it up. I am always having to get after him about this because I know that Little Guy will put coins in his mouth and he could choke to death on them. It completely annoys me that after TWO years of telling Husband to be more careful, I STILL find change everywhere.
Me: I found all this change on the ground in out bedroom. Why do you keep leaving change on the ground??!The conversation continued to spiral downhill from there, but suffice it to say that I am pissed. Yeah, I threw the coins at him, but he ignored me while I was talking about something really important AND he accused me of making a "mess" while all I did was cook him dinner.
Husband continues cleaning dishes with back to me and says nothing.
Me (shaking my fist of coins at him): It's dangerous to leave change lying around. How many times do I have to tell you that??!
Silence.
Me: Little Guy could choke to death on coins!!
Silence. Still with back to me.
Me: Flinging coins across the room at him.
Husband: God, you're crazy!
Me: Don't ignore me!
Husband: I wasn't ignoring you! I'm busy cleaning up the mess you made!
Me: Mess??!! MESS??! I cooked dinner for you and now you're complaining that I made a mess?!
I hate to vent about Husband here. I rarely do it. Usually Husband is great. He is funny and helpful and a good dad. There are a lot of great things about him. But tonight he pissed me off. And I have to vent. I don't care if I did throw loose change at him. He was being a jerk.
posted by Cristina @12:00 AM
20 Comments:
In this case, it sounds fair enough.
Arkie Mama has had some posts about husbands lately, and well, I suggested a special program, sort of an Early Intervention for people who are X deficient (as in XY instead).
(HUGS) you.
Julie
Using My Words
Dear Mommy,
Vent away. I have one just like that. I have thrown things at him, too. Sometimes it just has to be done.
Glad to hear I am not the only one throwing things.
I once threw a chicken wing at my husband.
Vent away. My husband also has a habit of simply ignoring me when it comes to stuff that I've asked him not to do over and over and over again. Pisses. me. off.
I would have gone CRAZY. The ignoring, the blaming (for cooking a nice dinner?), the calling you crazy! Arg!
KEEP THE CHANGE!! KEEP IT!! Every time you collect the money, put it in your "mommy only" place and buy yourself cups of coffee, etc. It's yours if you collect it!
"Mommy Only Place" Ok, that didn't sound right. But you know what I mean, right?
I think we all have our pet peeves. Mine is shoes worn on the carpet and socks left on the floor.
Vent (and throw) away. Sometimes, they deserve it. He could have at least said, "Just a minute. I'm doing dishes and can't hear over the water." Then, you would have known he acknowledged your presence.
And I second the keep the change advice. I keep whatever I find in the washer/dryer during laundry. If my hubs can't check his pants pockets, neither can I, and I've found 20s in there before. Sah-weet!
OMG all I can say is THANK YOU for venting. As a girl who has never lived with happily married people (outside of my own marriage) I love these kinds of posts as they serve to cue me in on what is normal in a healthy marriage. I've read all the psych textbooks but they are of NO help in real life. This is. Pls remember that when you vent about your hubby, you really are helping society =o)
Do you mind if I post about this and link back to your post?
I'm 5 months pregnant now, & when I'd like to have some r & r, I'll ask my husbo for a back rub. Sure, he'll consent to the back rub, but thinks it's *funny* to tickle me as a surprise during the backrub. Excuse me? I'm working full time, waking up @ 3a for work & went I want to be relaxed you TICKLE me for fun??? Last night I firmly told him to not do that again, after trying to bring the point home that he consistently does that. The aftermath was an argument & me in tears. Maybe I am being too sensitive, you tell me, but you for sure are trying to bring an important (& LIFE THREATENING for LG) issue of his complacency to rest. Would you feel guilty for collecting his change & keeping it as your own, next time you witness this? I'd probably feel guilty, but maybe he'll wise up. Maybe not. Best wishes for you, & may you continue to clean up in husband's tracks for the well-being of your children. From his response, it kind of sounds like if LG did indeed choke (heaven forbid, & I lament writing that) on change, husband might try to pin it on you...in some way, shape, or form. Hmm.
Dude. I would have shoved the coins down his throat. And then rubbed his face in the messy pots and pans. And then punched him in the balls. And then...go to anger management counseling? Sorry. I've got PMS and I can only deal with one husband issue at a time and mine is currently being a jerk as well, so yours just put me over the edge. ;)
Thank you all for letting me vent and sharing your own stories and making me feel less crazy. I love you all for it.
And Domestically Challenged, feel free to link to the post.
Dude, I'd be maaaaad about the ignoring thing. DH and I do say mean stuff to each other sometimes, though. I definitely would have thrown stuff at him after the ignoring. And, I also think it's acceptable to bank ALL that money that you find. Talk about a logical consequence.
dude. you can call me ANYTIME during this sort of instance. I am all kinds of supportive and helpful re: reminding you of swears you left out when it comes to husbands who swerve when they ought to bow. low.
hugs for you, honey-pie.
Sounds alot like my hubby too.
My kids love to play with loose change. Everytime I see a coin now, I put it in a little piggy bank he doesn't know I'm using. LOL.
You sound quite reasonable to me. I do recall screeching like a fishwife at my husband that he would never get another roast dinner from me again because he too complained that I had made a mess that would take him 400 minutes to clean up. Never mind that I had slaved over a hot stove for hours and hours to make a nice meal. I caved after a couple of months when I realised he had not noticed I hadn't made a roast lately, and I really wanted one.
keep it. KEEP IT! and then go out and buy something for yourself and let him stay home and make dinner and then clean up "the mess" by himself.
Men are such jerks (pigs, a-holes, creeps), whatever you can best describe them as. They really are. Venting is so important, so do it! Now I need to go write a post about my jerky tonight, he has been a pain all weekend and now you have got me fired back up again, gotta run!
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