Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A Rant and a Question

Now that the baby is two months old and I have had 60 whole days to experience the wonder and joy that is caring for two little children, I can officially tell you the following:

This shit is hard.
My marriage is suffering.
My house is a mess.
My toenails need clipping like you wouldn't believe.
I haven't had a decent shower in days.
And, uh, this shit is hard. (Oh, sorry I think I said that already.)

So, with all this in mind, there has been a question that has been nagging at me for the past several days. A question that has been inching its way forward in my brain ever since I saw the Duggar Family on TV a few weeks ago. And it is this:

How does Michelle Duggar, with 17 kids to look after, manage to keep her hair this long and healthy looking? I mean, how in good God's name is that possible?

Please someone tell me that the network has hired her a hairstylist or at least a nanny who watches her five children under five for her while she showers every day. Because if I find out that she manages to do her own hair herself and still keep that sunny disposition with 17 kids to look after...well, I'm just going to have to do something drastic....like eat the whole box of Oreo cookies in my pantry. I'm pulling the box out as we speak.


Blogger LaShawn said...

The woman is not human.

That said...if you really WATCH her and her kids..her oldest kids are playing parent the younger ones. She is most definitely not doing it alone. While I am all for older children helping around the house and all...her kids help her RUN the house. The whole family creeps me out.

2:16 PM  
Blogger Karly said...

I'm pretty sure that with 17 kids you wouldn't need a nanny...you've got quite a few built right in. That family is creepy and her super long hair creeps me out too.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Karly said...

Oh, and don't worry...being a mama to two really does get easier. Just wait til they start playing with each other and hugging each other spontaneously. Its totally worth it, I promise.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Eat the cookies, but leave some for me. LOL. I think the Duggars are amazing. Could I ever do it? NO! But I think it is cool that they can. I also don't think there is anything wrong with her older kids helping with the younger ones...I think it actually teaches them a lot. Those kids will grow up to be a lot more responsible than other kids their age.

2:27 PM  
Blogger bubandpie said...

It looks to me like she's got some serious split ends going on.

2:51 PM  
Anonymous anne at annenahm.com said...

This shit is indeed hard. Take care. It gets better, but when people told me that right after I had #2, I felt like I was drowning and people were yelling from the side, "the more you swim, the bigger your muscles get, the easier it is!"

Shhha. If you ignore the drowning part. Don't drown. Get a break when you need it.


2:58 PM  
Blogger dawn224 said...

um. I don't want to rude towards Ms. Duggar ... but I'm going to be.

Two words.

Mall bangs.

I will now email you a photo that I hope makes you laugh.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous a happier girl said...

The Duggars creep me out. And I think there's a big difference between kids helping around the house and what those Duggar kids do. I watched one time where they talked about the older kids being assigned to specific younger kids and their responsible for nearly everything to do with that kid all day long. That's on top of lots of chores.

4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She is a scary woman. And don't envy her hair. Please.

And know that I've been there - I had 3 kids in about 3 years, and it DOES get easier.

Wine helps. LOL

4:42 PM  
Blogger Granny said...

It gets easier, hones.

What everybody else said. Each kid starts babysitting early.

I used to live across from a family of 13 kids (at least that's how many they had when we moved)

The older kids took care of the younger ones but the mom didn't look anything like Mrs. Duggar. She looked half dead.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

I now have a 6 month old and I can tell you it gets easier with the two, promise. I am told as time goes on it gets even easier!

I have to remain uber organized though, one little slip and I am a wreck ... Hang in there!

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel ya! I need a shower too, and please don't look at my toes!!! Lucky for me I have an 11 year old to help me, or I'd probably be laying in the corner crying all day!

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Fog City Mommy said...

she's a robot, that's how.

sorry about the suffering marriage. don't hire a nanny.

my thoughts are with you. drop me a line if you need to vent to a good listener

8:41 PM  
Blogger kgirl said...

I'm totally not into the Duggars. 17 children and not a one of them is actually ever able to be a kid. Too much laundry, cooking, cleaning and watching over younger siblings to take of. Sure, they have a cool slide, but that's so that they can get back to their chores quickly.
And I'm with Karly - Michelle's weird super-mullet freaks me out too.

5:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This shit is hard. I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed...From what I've heard...it gets easier...But with one, I still find that hard to believe.


And that Duggar, pisses me off to no end...don't even get me started.

7:20 AM  
Anonymous andi said...

The first three months are the worst. Now that my baby is 4 months old and a lovely little person I find myself being just insane enough to mildly consider having a third. Sometimes.

Don't worry - you'll come out of it alive (I swear). Hugs to you, my friend.

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

As others have said, it really does get easier. Number 2 just turned 1 here, and last night we sat and watched them play together for about half an hour. It was nice.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Rhonda said...

There is a family where I live here in Illinois with 14 kids. She has exactly the same ICKY hairstyle as that Duggar lady. Each time she has a new one the local paper does a front page article with the whole brood. Mom is always propped up in the hospital bed with the new addition, all made up and styled. When I see her around town she's always perfectly dressed and accessorized. I think her older kids are raising her younger kids while she does her hair and make-up and gets dressed. Her husband is self-employed, but mostly I think they use the fact that they have 14 kids to generate cash. Grosses me out.

8:15 AM  
Blogger K said...

How do the Duggar's have time to make more kids!? lol

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

I recently got one of those Despair.com inspirational posters with a picture of the Duggars that said "VAGINA: It's not a clown car."


Given that my second is three months away from being born, I'm very torn between wanting to give you a hug and wanting to run from you screaming because NO! I DON'T WANT HARD!! I've gotten good at parenting a toddler and I don't want to hear about how hard it is with a second in the mix. But the other commenters saying it takes about 3-6 months for things to tame reminds me that it took about 3-6 months with the first kid for things to tame.

So eat those cookies. Hire a babysitter and spend the day at a spa if you can. Get your own hair cut. Hell, go out and buy a new pair of shoes or purse. And just know that when you're coming out of your funk, I'll just be getting into the same kind of funk and I'll be emailing you with all kindsa "Halp!" demands.

And wine. Drink some wine.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

It is hard. It's still hard for me, but I'm only two months ahead of you. And I have a fussy baby.

As for the Duggars, the older kids do a lot of the work caring for the younger ones. After the fourth or fifth kid, you'd have enough help to make it easier.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Dana a/k/a Sunshine said...

I hear ya, though I only have one so I can't exactly say I know exactly what you are going through. I do know it is very hard with one (also I'm a single parent..) so I feel for ya. And the Duggar people, cannot believe they have that many kids. I couldn't keep their names straight or my own if I had that many, or more than one - hee hee

It'll get easier :)

4:23 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

DUH! (And I mean that lovingly, you know that right?)

We ALL have nice hair when PG and that lady is nonstop PG.

You have PG hormones and stay on prenatals constantly and see what happens to your hair.


That family amazes me, really, like wow, I'm so impressed kind of way. I couldn't be that good at it, but kudos to them.

Hey you are post-partum. IME that's the WORST hair time. Mine was HORRIBLE and fell out in amazing quantities! Don't worry! It gets better.

Hang in there.

Oh and the "mommy of two" gets better. They do entertain one another, although you do turn into fight moderator.

It's all hard but yeah, you have a tough stage right about now.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Thanks for the kind comments, everyone. I know it will get easier. I know it in my head, but it's hard to remember that. Thanks for reminding me.

And as for the Duggars, I don't know why I didn't realize that her kids help her! Of course! That would make it a bit easier.

9:58 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

I'm so creeped out in general at the thought of anyone reproducing that many times that I can't look at the photo you included. I had to shield my eyes with the oreo cookie package *I* happen to be holding in solidarity with you.

and I don't even have two kids. (what's my excuse?)

p.s. the next time I'm in your town, we are SO going to get pedis. I mean it. I'm making the appt. before I get there.


11:14 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

My paternal grandma had 10 kids. I've often wondered that too. And in alot of larger families, the older kids care for/parent the younger ones.

Personally, I don't think its fair to the older or younger kids. The older kids miss out on a childhood. And the older children might not have the patience and insight needed to care for the younger ones. SO the younger ones end up losing too.

I didn't really like or dislike the Duggars until I saw something on their website awhile back. They talked about how they equated birth control with abortion. And THAT really pissed me off.

And you know what's funny. I KNOW who Rhonda's talking about! And they are always in the newspaper everytime she has another baby.

1:54 PM  
Anonymous pinks & Blues Girls said...

I don't know, the Duggars seem really nice and all, but I think that mom is on some serious meds. She's TOO HAPPY! And yes, it looks like she gets her shower time, but could someone get a hairstyle on her that is not so heavily 80's with wings?

Jane, Pinks & Blues

7:41 PM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

I can't really add to what anyone's said, other than to agree - it will get easier. Give it another month or two. It sounds like an eternity, but you'll get there.

The Duggars squick me out in the worst way. They are way creepy. Plus, I think they whore themselves out to DHC in order to afford that huge house and to add, yet again, to their family. Freaky people.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

It does get easier. I swear. Would I lie to you?

In fact, I'm contemplating a third. So you know it has to get easier b/c I am seriously the laziest mom on the planet.

The Duggars are insane. Or aliens. I'm not sure which. My grandmother had 7 kids and I've seen pictures. With each child after 4 she looked progressively beaten down!

8:37 AM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

That family is something else, huh? My guess is that the older children help look after the little ones. When you have 17 of them, you have lots of baby sitters!

(But go ahead and have some Oreos anyway....)

7:51 PM  
Blogger Pendullum said...

Do not be so hard on yourself... It is hard... It is hard... It is only 60 days...
And your hubby should be clipping those narly nails for you and after a wee foot massage...

There's a mom near us that has 13 kids...

I am in awe of her... and the entire clan...
But it does not look easy....
She is younger than me... But looks like she could be my grandmother....
But the one thing I have noticed is how close all the siblings are...
They all walk in a giant group to school... So having breakfast on the way but they are always talking to each other as they saunter to school in the family pack...

5:08 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Karly says it. They willplay together, granted, sometimes that means busting down the bathroom door while you try to go to the bathroom, but still...there's a huge gift in knowing they have each other. You'll find yourself again, I promise. And thed hair? Please tell me you don't really covet that mullety mop. Shoot higher,shoot so much higher.

11:36 AM  
Blogger yogamama said...

Apparently I've been away from your blog long enough to not even know you were pregnant . . . congrats on baby #2 . . . and guess what, I'm back to blogging, and we're having another one ourselves! Congratulations again. I'll be back later to catch up!

3:11 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

My question is, who in their right mind has 17 children. Good Gawd. that's crazy. And her hair is hopelessly out of style.

7:29 PM  
Blogger Motherhood Uncensored said...

You're kidding right? I mean about Mrs. Duggar...

Girl. I can guarantee your hair is WAY better than hers. That poor girl needs a hair cut and she needs to grow out the the side bangs.

And yes. THE SHIT IS HARD. It feels good to say it though.

Hang in there. xox

4:17 PM  
Blogger zoloftmom said...

well, looks like this has already been said a bunch of times but let me just concur with the rest and say that

1. 17 kids will make anyone a bit crazy, whether you can tell on the outside or not.

2. the shit is hard, very hard. which is why we have our blogging sisters to affirm us. the shit does get better.. until the shit turns two.

10:14 PM  

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