Friday, April 14, 2006

Baby (frank)Einstein?

Mothers-to-be across the nation add them to their baby registries every day. Hundreds of customers are heralding them as “a godsend”, “captivating”, and a “must have” for parents. Yes, it seems that any mother who is anybody is going to get a Baby Einstein DVD for their baby. (That is, if they care at all whether their babies develop good verbal skills, creativity, memory, and spatial intelligence.)

Well, I finally got one of these DVDs this week and (somewhat guiltily) plunked by 9-month-old down to watch. And I can truly say that my honest reaction upon viewing the first 60 seconds of the video was "What in the hell kind of weird as* sh*t is this?" The next 60 seconds weren’t much better. In fact, the entire DVD really just freaked me out.

I'm sure you've seen one of these by now. You may even be one of the 474 people on who posted eloquently about how wonderfully brilliant this DVD is. And maybe it is. Or maybe it's just some drugged up mommy's acid trip put to classical music.

In any case, if you haven't viewed one yet, the basic idea, as I understand it, is to flash random "mind-stimulating" images on the screen for baby to watch while hearing classical music. Here are a few of the synapse-building images that you'll see on the Baby Mozart-Baby Einstein DVD:

Is that a scary looking polar bear holding a coke and blowing bubbles from liquid in a cauldron? Yep, that's what that is!

Weird psychedelic dripping substance #6.

Uh, I paid $19.99 for this DVD. Is that a hand in the frame? Is that hand supposed to be there?

I hate to use the words "devil-worshipper" but...

So, what am I missing? Please, someone, tell me why these people are making millions off these things. I've heard it comes in handy as a great babysitting tool, but really, am I the only one out there who thinks these things are just a little weird?


Blogger Catherine said...

Maybe I've been hiding under a rock, but I've never even HEARD of this thing! So, yes, in my barely informed, humble opinion, it sounds VERY weird. Speaking of weird, I finally got around to posting my weirdness list.

5:18 PM  
Blogger K. said...

Nice blog!

I also succumbed to all the hype and bought several Baby Einsteins for my kiddo. He really loves watching them too (go figure). Yes, I think that they are a bit weird. I just told myself that is because I cannot think in "baby" so they just go over my head.

9:03 PM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

lol...I thought the same thing about the BE tapes. Mine were borrowed so no money was lost on the weird, hokey baby acid trip videos but still...what the hell?

11:00 PM  
Blogger Antique Mommy said...

Hoo boy! That is funny! You put words to what I've been thinking but could say out loud because I received a few of those as gifts and I couldn't remember from whom. Teletubby creepy.

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

We bought them off ebay from China ~ I know - so wrong no copyright laws bla bla. Anyway, they are so freaking cryptic - I was SHOCKED. Thankfully, our daughter found no enjoyment out of them whatsoever and they just sit on top of our tv collecting dust.

I just wish I had thought of them. Seriously, like I couldn't take a video of one of those sit on your desk toy things. DUH?!

10:13 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Pheww. Glad I'm not alone on this.

Kristen, I was thinking the same thing. I certainly have the talent to hold up my kids toys in front of a video camera. If only I had thought of this. I could have been a millionaire. Drats!

8:04 AM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

i totally agree. disney is pulling in the big bucks for filming a bunch of household items and slapping some nite-briteesque music in the background. I call SCAM!

10:18 AM  
Blogger SugarMama said...

I must admit that my firstborn was a big fan of Baby Einstein. So I basically collected them all...UNTIL --- my second son was born and he didn't care about it all that much. I also noticed that eversince Disney took over, the videos are just ubearable. I think Julie Clark the creator had done a way better job on the first few ones until she sold out to Disney.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

I have no idea why they're so popular either. My daughter hated them.

The only TV she would watch when she was very little was the Wiggles or Cirque du Soleil.

3:55 PM  
Blogger scarbie doll said...

If you take acid before watching the BE videos they actually make sense.

4:55 PM  

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