A Golf Widow's Revenge
What do you do when your husband leaves you at home alone with the baby all day on Saturday so that he can go play golf...again...for the 3rd weekend in a row?Answer:
On the following day, take him with you and the baby to the mall. Try to go when there are lots of big sales going on and it's really crowded.Payback. It's a bitch, aint it?
Tell him it won't take long...you just need to make a quick stop to return something. Then, after quickly returning your item and heading toward the mall exit, make sure to pass by your favorite clothing store. Get all excited and tell him that you just have to stop in for a second to try on that cute outfit in the window. Don't wait for his protests. Just walk right in.
Begin to try on every item of clothing within your reach. On your way to the dressing room, walk past him with a huge pile of clothes and enjoy the deer-in-the-headlights look on his face.
Walk out of the dressing room at least twice and ask him to get you another size of something. Duck back into the dressing room and cackle to yourself quietly.
Ensure that he doesn't leave to go to the food court by insisting that he look at everything you try on. Each time you walk out, ask him, "Does this make me look fat?" Make sure you like his answers.
Spend extra time in the store if there is loud, annoying music playing.
Repeat these activities in as many stores as you feel like until you find an outfit, or two or three, that you want to buy for yourself. Let money be no object.
Savor his annoyed expression throughout your shopping trip.