Friday, June 02, 2006

Dear Kirk,

How could you do this to me? I thought I knew you. I thought we got each other, you know? And then you go and do this. I mean, it’s been a long time seen we’ve seen each other and everything but I just thought...I don’t know, that somehow things would always be the same. That I would always be that girl who had a big crush on you and you would always be that cool guy in the crop top muscle shirt, jean jacket slung over one shoulder, charmin' me out of my cotton knee socks. What happened to that happy-go-lucky-kid who used to like to party and break the rules once in a while?

How did you go from this...


















...to this?













Don’t get me wrong, I think that some of what you’re doing is great. I like the fact that you appear to care a lot about other people and that you seem to have a good heart.

But then I hear this other stuff you’re saying and I’m like, "Whaaaat?" I mean, do you really think that I’m "heartless" if I don’t walk the streets and tell people about God? Or that I can’t have "my own thoughts" about what God is like? Oh, and please don’t tell me you really count "taking the biggest piece of chocolate cake" as a sin? Cuz if so, I’m going to hell for sure!

And what, may I ask, does Candace think about all this?

...Oh my God, you’ve converted her too?!

Let me be frank here. It’s not that I’m not spiritual, or for that matter, religious. Cause I am. I earned my stripes through 12 years (yeah, count them, 12 looooong years) of Catholic school. And after that torture, I still go to Church now and then.

But I'm just saying, enough with the guilt trips already. I know I break several of the Ten Commandments on a regular basis. I really don't need my 1980s Growing Pains hearthrob to remind me of it.

Well, I'm probably rambling here so I'll just end by saying (and I truly believe this) that as long as we keep givin', we can take anything that comes our way. Baby, rain or shine, all the time, we got each other, sharin' the laughter and love.

Fondly,
MotR

29 Comments:

Blogger noncommon said...

scary! i'll be joining you in hell. it'll be a party!
and thanks for visiting evan and leaving him his first comment. he's going to be so excited! you're way too cool! thanks.

1:13 AM  
Blogger Cristina said...

Dude, Cameo. What time is it over in your time zone? Cuz it's 1:14am over here. What the hell are we still doing on the Internet?

1:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say REPENT (and pass me that Chocolate cake)

2:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god! I didn't know he had become such a focused chrsitian. Wow. That is crazy. And was that a picture of Candace? She looks so different!

PS- Thanks for the information.

4:09 AM  
Blogger The Domesticator said...

Don't let your loved ones go to hell? What the HELL is he talking about? That is exactly why I have not gone back to the Catholic Church. That kind of "fire and brimstone" type of thinking turns me right off.

4:59 AM  
Blogger Marcie said...

Kirk Cameron is so scary. But I'm not that crushed since I didn't really like him back then. Do you remember the "Growing Pains" spin-off "Just the Ten of Us"? It was about the big catholic family.

5:18 AM  
Blogger Bea said...

Good to know that Yuriy considers an aversion to Cameron-family-style evangelism to be an indication of interest in FREE playboy and penthouse. Anyway. There's an interesting contrast between the "we're all sinners" quiz and the freshly-scrubbed wholesomeness of Candace's family. And what does WDJD stand for?? What Does Jesus Do?

6:00 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Yikes! Oh how the mighty have fallen to web-evangelism! Well, if I'm going to hell, at least I can be content that lots of people I know will be there too.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

If Scott Baio crosses over to the religious side maybe then I'll consider going to church. But the Camerons? Not persuasive enough.

6:59 AM  
Blogger ditzymoi said...

lmao .. i was shocked when i saw kirk too
danny bonaduce will probably be next *sigh*

7:31 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I have to say I was in loooooove with him. Smooched a poster of him every night before bed (was that too much info?).

But this is just plain scary. I might have followed him blindly as a hormonal teenage girl but now he just pisses me off.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Cristina said...

You guys are crackin' me up!

Moobs: ditto that.

Krista: yeah, that Candace website was a shocker to me

Domesticator: I hate the fire and brimstone talk as well.

Marcie: How did I miss that spinoff?

Anonymous: i'm already familiar with your sites, but thank you for the tip.

Bubandpie: LOL!!!

Christina: good point! Hell might not be so bad after all....

Mrs. Chicky: Oh, I'd totally do it for Scott Baio. Oh yeah. :)

Kim: Isn't Danny Bonaduce a drug addict....? Well, if he is, I think you're probably right, the next step will be BAC.

Sunshine Scribe: no, not too much info at all. In fact, tell me more about the poster...:)

8:05 AM  
Blogger Pollyanna said...

Oh my word. What a nutcase. And oh he has NOT aged well. I wonder if he found "religion" cuz he couldn't act anymore because he looks like somebody hit him with a shovel or if it was the other way around? And I wonder how many people actually scurry to religion in the hopes of not going to hell? that's just sad sad sad. So not the point....

8:33 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I knew he'd gotten a little fanatical when he was in the Left Behind straight-to-video movies, that I never watched, but I've read some of the series. My sister had his posters PLASTERED on her walls. I'm forwarding her your link. I wonder what she'll say.

I'm glad they've found something positive to believe in and something that works for them. I'm glad they're trying to get their message out, but putting people down for their way of life if that way is different than their own is NOT going to get converts. It just turns people away. And THAT'S what I hate about evangelical speeches. Don't try to get me to think your way is better by putting my way down. Just because every other word out of my mouth isn't Jesus doesn't make me a bad person.

9:01 AM  
Blogger Zephra said...

I knew he was way over board the year before the show went off the air. Breaks my heart.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

*sigh* Well... so long as Ralph Macchio doesn't become a psycho fundamentalist, I'll know there's still hope for this world.

2:04 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

OH GOD! I saw him recently trying to convert homeless drunks in Santa Monica. Same shit. I was crushed. WWJD? More like WTFD(ude)! And please, I am all about my loved ones going to hell. Hell is hot.

2:18 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

Crying over here...that stupid "who is your 80's heartthrob?" quiz had him pegged as my one-and-only. Guess that'll be a rocky marriage!

3:20 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

depressing as hell. especially the Candace conversion. I say that, knowing about Kirk's freakish obsession with fundie-ism as of the early nineties (I think it was right after the switcheroo movie he made with Dudley Moore that he came out as an extreme xtian - he and his gf-turned-wife from GP).

pffft. wackos unnerve me like nothing else.

5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GGC- You crack me up.

5:04 AM  
Blogger Undercover Angel said...

I used to have such a huge crush on him - and I had no idea that he looked like that now.... And he's gone religous to boot...

10:50 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Man, look what working with Alan Thicke will do to you.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

MOTR, you are brilliant.

Kirk Cameron is a nutjob. Same thing happened to Willie Ames. (Oops, did I just give away my age?) But he also got fat.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Cristina said...

GGC: did you really see him trying to convert homeless drunks in Santa Monica? Man, I wish I lived in LA!

Dawn: I bet Alan Thicke DID have something to do with this...

Mrs. Davis: Willie too? Willie from Charles in Charge?

3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never even know what to say when I comment here b/c everything makes me laugh so darn much.

I saw a special on Kirk some time ago and was pretty surprised by some of this myself. Child/teen stars, aren't there any other options besides drug addict or Jesus Crispies?

6:04 PM  
Blogger noncommon said...

to answer your question - yup, it was 3:15am. sometimes the sleep just decides to go bless someone else. it's called insomniac blogging. beats the shit out of tv! what were you doing up so late that night?

11:28 PM  
Blogger Cristina said...

Cameo: I was blogging. What else? But that reminds me, I think I need to call my sponsor. he he.

12:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was already halfway to hell. I don't think Kirk Cameron is going to convince me to change my ways.

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I'm going to hell for fighting moobs over the chocolate cake. :(

5:17 AM  

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