Monday, May 21, 2007

Embracing the Fatter Side of Pregnancy

Last night I had a psychic dream. It was a horrible, anxiety-inducing dream. In it, I was trying on maternity clothes. And none of them fit. Not even close. I tried hoisting a pant leg on and I could barely get it past my knees. It was my thighs - they were enormous.

At 6 months pregnant, I had already outgrown maternity clothes. Now what would I wear?

I awoke this morning in a cold sweat (OK, not really). But I did awake to the memory of that dream and the realization that I had, in fact, been lent some maternity clothes by my friend the day before that I needed to try on. I walked over to the bag of clothes and pulled out the first item. A pair of totally cute Motherhood Maternity capris. Awesome. I needed capris! I tried them on with some trepidation. After tugging and pulling desperately, I found that I was able to get them over my thighs. Victory! However, they were skin tight and I was unable to fasten the button. The totally cute Motherhood capris didn't look so totally cute on me.

I won't go through the horror of recounting how I tried pathetically to squeeze myself into every pair of pants in the bag, but suffice it to say that my attempts were unsuccessful, finally confirming something I have been slowly coming to realize for weeks now - I'm getting fat. And it's not just the normal pregnancy weight that a woman needs to gain in order to support the healthy development of her gestating fetus. No, it's the extra cellulite, pudge and overall flabiness that I have no excuse for other than the fact that I get cravings for ice cream, chocolate cookies, and other assorted chocolate foods while I'm pregnant. (Side note: Have you tried the Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch? I highly recommend it.)

I do find it a bit disconcerting that I have finally come to this realization by way of a dream - a pyschic dream. Is the universe trying to tell me something? Should I feel bad that I don't feel comfortable in anything but a mumu? Should I feel guilty for wanting to eat dessert every day?

I find myself faced with several choices. I could:

a) stop eating so much
b) get off my arse and do some leg lifts
c) join a yoga class
d) eat an extra scoop of Ben and Jerry's after dinner to console myself

*twiddles thumbs*

*thinks about it*

*thinks some more*

Screw it. I'm going with "d".



Blogger Kyla said...

Always go with D. :)

9:19 AM  
Blogger steph! said...

D all the way!

10:11 AM  
Blogger metro mama said...

I gained way too much weight with Cakes.

It comes off afterwards, with little ones to chase around.

Go with D.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Tracie said...

Always go with D.....and by the way, I have tried it and it is heavenly!!!

Don't worry about the weight-with two little ones you will loose it in no time.

2:38 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I agree with the others ... D makes most sense.

I gained 65 lbs when I was pregnant ... and loved me lots of Ben and Jerrys!

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

As much as you suffered with all-day-sickness, you deserve a little love in the form of Ben & Jerry's!

6:41 PM  
Anonymous lildb said...

that is the one thing I'm looking forward to if we do it again. eating ice cream and cookies and pie and cake and more pie. a lot. all the time. every afternoon. and then before bed. and maybe when I wake up, once in awhile.

live it up, man. you've got some serious action about to break loose up in your hizzle. LIVE. IT. UP.


9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

D. Period.

You can do leg lifts after the baby gets here...

4:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you found out what you're having yet? Because it sounds to me like it's a girl. Let me tell you, girls make you fat and it's because they make you crave sweets! While preggo with the Beast I craved cake! I bought myself a whole birthday cake (it was not my birthday) and ate it! lol. I also craved sweets with my first girl. With this pregnancy I'm craving salty foods and haven't gained that much at all. I think it's a boy, but that's just my own theory :)

6:35 AM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

You can never go wrong with D. Plus I'm a firm believer that all pregnancy cravings are your body's way of telling you what it needs. Clearly you need more calcium!

7:46 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

I am 27 weeks pregnant (3rd pregnancy) and have chosen Option D so far. I'm paying for it by not fitting into any of my maternity pants any more! Yet I will still continue to choose Option D. I may consider adding in a LITTLE walking, but I won't get all crazy with it :-)

11:25 AM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

I'd go with D too!

2:59 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

Loving D. Although I also had a yoga DVD during my pregnancy which I loved. Plus, I could do it at home.

Good luck!!

4:10 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

I have a pregnancy yoga DVD at home too. It makes me feel guilty every time I look at it! I actually do plan to try it out if I can ever find the time.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Fidget said...

I'm 3 months postpartum and D still wins out

Blame the pants on being washed too much in hot water. You know pants shrink like 5 sizes when you do that

8:40 PM  
Anonymous lildb said...

btw, have I ever told you you're le hot?

because you are. especially with a big scoop of ice cream dangling from your mouth.

and give that stupid effing yoga dvd away. who needs guilt when you can have ice cream? (damn! I'm so profound!)

6:29 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

D, always always always pick D. I think that the world would be a much better place if everybody always always picked D! Skinny hungry people are angry people, and well, I'd rather be fat and happy, thankyouverymuch.

8:05 AM  
Blogger Smiling Mom said...

I say sweatpants, large maternity sweatpants. You can get skinny when all your kids are birthed! :-)

1:26 PM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Truly, D is the ONLY choice. Worry about it later, friend. It's hard enough.

5:58 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

D is the way to go .... I lost a lot already and slowly ... very slowly the rest is coming off.

7:42 AM  
Blogger ffbgirl said...

I think D sounds good!

OK, this comment is selfish... I just found out I am pregnant and I am searching wildly for any and all info/advice/stories/anything to give me some clue... So, seeing as you have recently gone through what I am going through now, anything is appreciated!

I know, I am a sad little being begging for advice from women whose blogs onwhich I generally lurk, but I just can't help it!!

8:05 PM  

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