Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Fun with Fruit

As some of you may know, Husband doesn't read my blog. He knows I have a blog. He knows I spend a lot of time blogging. He knows what my blog is called. And yet he's never, ever visited my blog. Not once.

Totally weird of him, I know. I mean, what husband wouldn't want to visit his own wife's blog? I've asked him as much and he always gives me the same lame excuses like, "That's your private space, babe. I don't want to intrude." Or "I live our life. I don't need to read about it."

I don't get it, but whatever. After seven months of blogging, I had come to accept that Husband had no interest whatsoever in my blog. But then last night over dinner, this....

Husband: So, you don't think I should walk around naked eating Trix, eh?

Me: What???? Uh, what are you talking about?

Husband: I read your blog.

Me: *trapped*

Husband: Yeah, I read your blog and I read what you wrote.

Me: Oh, shit. Well, I just thought it was really funny that you said that. But funny in a cute way. Yeah, cute, I thought it was cute. And if you check out the comments on that entry, you'll even see that I said that it was cute. I wasn't making fun of you, I swear.
I don't know if he bought it, but it really was more like I was laughing with him not at him, you know? *ahem*

Anyway, I have no idea really how long he's been reading my blog, but all I do know is that I have to be damn careful what I write on here now. No more making fun of Husband on this blog!! I refuse to engage in any activities that could be misconstrued as making fun when I'm really just trying to show how cute he is.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. What post is complete without a picture?

Husband: Hey, you know what this fig looks like?.....Balls.

Me: WTF?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I should have never told my husband about my blog. He reads it. And makes comments like I'm crazy or I need serious help. (Hence the reason why I almost stopped) But ya know what, whatever. If my hubby doesn't think he likes it, he can go back to work and stop surfing the net.

I do think your hubby is cute...I wish mine was.

4:18 AM  
Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

Um, hi there MOTR's hubby. ~waves~ She has nothing but the BEST *ahem* comments about you! We swear! *grins*

4:46 AM  
Blogger metro mama said...

Now you just need him to comment!

5:31 AM  
Anonymous ali said...

sometimes i wish mine wouldn't read mine. there's so much good material that i can't blog because i know he'll be reading and get all girlie and sensitive....:)

5:54 AM  
Anonymous Momish said...

My husband doesn't read my blog either, no desire whatsoever. It is strange, but then again, I never sent him a link or told him what is was called. Sometimes I wish he did, other times I rejoice in the fact he doesn't. I think it's sweet he snuck and read it after all this time. He IS cute!

6:00 AM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Victor reads mine occassionally...usually after one of his coworkers makes fun of him because of something I said about him in the blog. Those are not usually good days...sigh.

PS. "Balls." Hee! He's adorable!

6:00 AM  
Blogger aka_Meritt said...

LOL because my husband the exact same way on knowing I blog... knowing I have webpages and not caring to read.

But my computer died (for good this time) last weekend and for a few days I had to use his laptop. I suspect that having that little url at his beck and call may have gotten his curiosity up enough to click on it?

Then again... maybe not. Yeah, I'd put a $100 bet down he never once clicked on it.

Perhaps that is good because yesterday I blogged about his bald-headed-alien-haircut. *wink*

6:19 AM  
Blogger feliciak said...

My hubby doesn't read my blog either. But that's because it's regarding my home improvements and he doesn't like my "project management skills." I'm never "on budget" and don't have a "timeline." He doesn't like to hear me complain, so that's what the blog's for.
I thought the fig looked like the little bits that hang off my cat's rear and drop off all around my house. Doesn't THAT make you hungry?!

6:21 AM  
Blogger Mona said...

My husband read my blog once or twice, but he hasn't since. I think he forgot the url. And I wouldn't censor myself anyway. I mean, he's my husband, not my high school principal. It's not like I'm going to erase everything and replace it with a big-ass picture of the virgin mary. He knows I have a potty mouth! :D

6:24 AM  
Blogger Queue said...

my hubby reads my blog and keeps one of his own...
yes I created a monster.
becareful, there is a monster at the end of the book....

I so feel for you sister!!!

6:29 AM  
Anonymous The Mentor Mom said...

Who thought figs could be so versatile?

6:42 AM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

Maybe curiosity got the better of him. I know I'd be unable to resist reading my husband's blog...if he had one.

And...what IS that a photo of, anyway?

6:43 AM  
Blogger Michele said...

*snort* BUSTED!

6:51 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

My husband reads my blog daily, and sometimes it can be a pain when I want to vent about him, but can't because I know he reads.

6:56 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Hi MOTR's husband. Everyone thinks it's adorable that you eat Trix naked. Really!

My husband reads my blog and has one of his own. I just did a really long post in which I make fun of him mercilessly. "Is it OK if I post this?" I asked. "Oh, that's fine" he says, "I'll just get you back later on my blog."

7:04 AM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

oh, the double-edged sword. my husband reads my blog quite avidly. "avidly" is not the right word, though. sometimes his comments about it can piss me off (jeez, that was a really long post!). at other times he really engages me and chats to me about it (i liked....blah blah). other times he gets pissed--feels a sense of privacy violation. (i am extrovert in the fam).

sometimes i wish he never looked at it, so i could not worry about what he thought. oh, and so i could post lots of gratuitous pics (he is big on "privacy") on the other hand, if he was not at all interested i would be all WTF?


8:54 AM  
Blogger Slackermommy said...

My hubby reads my blog on occasion and sometimes it feels a little weird. Like the day I wrote about our marriage and my resentment I noticed him on my statcounter. That felt weird. He never said anything though but hasn't been on since. I'm sure it made him feel weird too. I'm sure he's learning a lot about me because I write about a lot of things that I normally don't discuss with him.

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

my hubby never reads mine either. Even if he did, I wouldn't change what I write. He already know I feel the way i feel.

In a way I'm glad he doesn't read it, and I've never really encouraged him to.

I read his blog though, EVERY day. He doesn't write about his family though, it's strictly gaming.

9:29 AM  
Blogger jennster said...

HAHAHHAHAHAH! that's funny! i'm glad he reads it because WTF.. who the fuck doesn't want to read their s.o's blog? ???

9:53 AM  
Blogger Farm Girl said...

...and this is the perfect example of be careful what you wish for....

10:15 AM  
Blogger Guinevere Meadow said...

My hubby didn't even know I HAD a blog...until a friend announced it to the entire room. "You should all read Guinevere's blog!" YIKES! That scared me. I had told her about it, but not anyone else. He looked at me all weird, said, "you have a blog?" I turned bright red cuz everyone was staring at me...oh what fun. I don't have anything to hide from him or anything, thank goodness!

11:15 AM  
Blogger scribbit said...

I'm impressed he was eating figs. Mine sticks with Trix. You've got a gourmet.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Uh, woops! Some of my family members found my blog when I didn't realize they were reading. It was awkward, to say the least. Oy.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my hubby doesn't read my blog either. His excuse is that I tell him about my posts, so why does he have to read them. I really want him to leave me sweet little comments like some of my friends' husbands. Wishful thinking.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Chantal said...

My husband reads mine and laughs at himself all the time. I just include a real sappy post every once in a while to make him feel loved. Which he is, but you know...

12:20 PM  
Blogger dcrmom said...

HAHAHA!!! Too funny!

My husband barely tolerates my blogging. He does read occasionally, but not because he really cares what I have to say. He says he'd rather me talk to him about my day, he doesn't want to have to read about it on my blog. Which is fine. I get that. But he really thinks it's a waste of time, and that bugs me. I wish he'd show some interest.

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

I always ask myself if something I'm about to write is something I would say in front of him. Usually it is, so it's fair game. Hazards of living with a blogger.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Nikkie said...

Busted! My partner reads my blog sometimes. Most I ever hear is about how my spelling and grammar suck. He's right those do kinda look like balls!

12:26 PM  
Blogger bubandpie said...

As you know, my hubby was the same as yours - but I've figured out how to keep him up to date in his reading: I'll throw out casual comments like, "Did you read my post today? It ended with the words 'you bastard,' and they were referring to you." Which is really most effective when there is no known source of conflict - he just leaves the room instantly and doesn't come back until he's all caught up.

That said, it is a pain sometimes. I get the sense that my blog provides him with a window into my mind and that maybe he'd be happier if that window were more like, um, stained glass, or tinted windows.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Jenni said...

How my husband found out about my blog?

i was reading another blog, and he'd asked what I was reading, and jeez-- he'd didn't even know what BLOG was... so I mentioned that I have one. I think he was worried it was some sort of way for me to find men or something... Who the F**k knows. But he read it for a few days a couple months ago, and I don't think he's checked on it since.

Of course, now that he knows I have one, I cannot post bitchy posts about my in-laws... DAMN

1:11 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Who's balls?


1:43 PM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

I could never get my husband to read my blog either. I bugged me. He just wasn't interested. That bugged me more.
Then one day he read it. It happened to be a day that I was making fun of him. Oops. I have a lot of "my hubby is great" posts to do now.

3:26 PM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

Crack me up!

Uh-oh, my husband says he doesn't read my blog either .... hmmm.

4:50 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Janet: thanks for visiting. I'll be sure to tell my hubby you think he's cute!

Metro Mama: Yeah, I'm still waiting for him to comment. We'll see if I can lure him out!

Ali: "all girlie and sensitive" LOL. I worry about that too!

aka Merrit: bald-headed-alien-haircut?? OK, you've got me curious. I'm gonna have to check out that post. LOL

feliciak: EWW. It DOES kinda look like cat poopy thingies!

Slackermommy: not to get all serious here, but do you think that the blogging can aid in communication in a marriage then or do you think it hurts more than it helps when your hubby reads about your feelings? This would be an interesting blog topic...

Andrea: that's kinda how I approach it too. I would never want to write anything that I wouldn't feel comfortable saying to him.

Mrs. Chicky: LMAO. I'll let him answer that....are you there Husband?

5:20 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

Mine *BROWSES* my blog but I think it's because he wants to make sure I don't say anything about him.

I used to want him to read my blog but now he does this "fact checking" thing, where he's like "you kind of stretch the truth" and/or "that was not what happened, actually."

On my old blog he used comment as different people and than proceed to rip apart everything I wrote. He thought he was doing me a favor. Um, thanks.

P.S. Nice fig balls.

6:08 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

Hi MOTR's hubby!! Your wife is hilarious and I love to read her blog too! But I dont think she has EVER made fun of you. Im sure of it.

9:01 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Catch, you're the best! Thanks for the nice comment and for the back-up with hubby! I think I'm gonna need it.

Hubby? Hubby? You there?

I don't think he's gonna read this post....even though I told him I wrote something about him....maybe if I tell him I wrote about him AND the figs, he'll pop in....yeah, I think I'll try that and see what happens.... he won't be able to resist reading about the figs! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

9:35 PM  
Anonymous anne nahm said...

Hey... Nice figs! Now I understand about Adam's Fig leaf in all those Biblical paintings.

9:56 PM  
Blogger Overwhelmed! said...

Too funny! I told Oronzo about my blog and he usually doesn't read it, but every now and then he'll make a comment to let me know that he's read a post. Too funny! :)

Thanks for your comment on my WFMW No Fear Shakespeare post! I do appreciate it!

10:01 PM  
Blogger Brony said...

I couldn't get my photo to publish today :(.

Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting on my 100th post.

10:02 PM  
Anonymous L.A. Daddy said...

Ha! I started MINE and L.A. Mommy had to have one too. Of course, she probably still doesn't read mine...

10:48 PM  
Blogger Waya said...

You are so busted!! But in a good way b/c he reads your blog. How can he not? It's great!

7:24 AM  
Blogger Pendullum said...

My husband NEVER reads my blog...
I try and read the odd passage to him...
No interest???Or maybe he respects that it is my domain, my space... or maybe that is just my delutional mind talking???

7:37 AM  
Anonymous chelle said...

My husband is constantly giving me ideas for the blog! Glad he likes it!

lol I agree those do look like....

7:40 AM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

You are so busted!

7:42 AM  
Blogger Pattie said...

I will never look at a fig the same way again! :)

7:49 AM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Those balls are a little lopsided.

Sometimes I have to purposely block out my knowledge of everyone who reads me (family and friends). It can paralyze you.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

My husband does not read my blog either. I think he hears me talking enough as it is and doesn't want to read it too. :) Which is good, 'cuz sometimes I need to vent about passive aggressive man......

And why are all men such little boys when it comes to things like figs that look like balls???? HMMMM...why? If Mr MOTR could tell me that I would really really appreciate it becuase it completely escapes me. :)

8:51 AM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

Of course we are never really making fun of them. Just showing how CUTE they are :)

This weekend my husband found a pair of turnips or something and walked around showing everyone to see if they looked like balls.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Ha! So Husband’s not alone! There are others out there comparing fruits and vegetables to private parts. Pheww. It's good to know we're not alone.

1:20 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Josh doesn't read my blog...but so far he's only made supporting role appearances, so I wouldn't have to worry if he decided to. He knows how weird I get about people reading what I write (which in itself is weird since I blog for anyone and everyone to read now) I'm guessing he is just repsecting that.

Hi Mr. MOTR! I think that WTF means Wonderful Thoughtful keep that in mind as you read her posts, okay? ;)

1:39 PM  
Blogger Ruth Dynamite said...

I think it's great that he's lurking on your blog. He cares what you think! Now that's cute!

4:13 PM  
Anonymous CrankMama said...

Just don't change a thing... you're a great read! And what you say about your husband is fabulous compared to what many bloggers say :)

5:31 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I wish I wouldn't have told my hubby about my blog either. He reads it from time to time. So I watch what I say too...

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Much More Than A Mom said...

Ha! It totally looks like balls! That's a conversation that could totally happen at our house.

My husband reads my blog too, as does the rest of the whole family and a whole bunch of friends and acquaintances (all lurkers). Sometimes I forget and get all sweary or judgemental. Oops!

7:21 PM  
Blogger Red Rollerskate said...

My hubby also likes to point at fruit, food, and other inanimate objects and compare them to things of a sexual nature. Hmmmm.

7:31 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

That picture goes perfectly with the joke my Mom sent me today - check it out over at my place, it'll make you giggle, I promise!


9:07 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Hubs, you are seriously missing out on some great writing if you don't read this here blog. On the other hand, feel free to skip out occasionally so we can get some unadulterated MotR. :) just kidding of course.

9:33 PM  
Blogger Kevin Charnas said...

Squirrel balls. Deformed squirrel balls.

Will (my partner) doesn't read my blog either. Except occasionally, he'll do what your husband did. And then I'm left standing there thinking, "Oh shit...Oh shit...what did I say?"

9:57 PM  
Blogger Tracie said...

My husband will randomly read my blog.....and I think he thinks I am crazy.

Don't worry MOTR's husband....we all know that she loves you adn only has wonderful things to say about you.

10:39 PM  
Blogger Slackermommy said...

mommy off the record, I think that would make a great blog topic. My hubby doesn't have any problem talking about funny things he reads on my blog. When it comes to my deep feelings he doesn't say a word. I only know he read if I saw him on my statcounter. He's like that though, uncomfortable talking about feelings. He's so out of touch. I tease him that he must have a magical suitcase where he stuffs his feelings. I contributed my story to Motherless and I think he found it. I wrote about some things that I've never told him because of it's disturbing nature. He's never said a word. I feel really weird about it. I'll wait 'til I get drunk and bring it up. Ha! I'm curious if other women have hubbies like mine and how they handle it.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Irene said...

My husband doesn't normally read my blog either. This is why he gets flabbergasted when people start discussing stuff I wrote about him. Bwahaha!

I'm so glad to have uncovered another loony mommy in BlogWorld! I'm hooked. Keep at it! c",)

10:31 PM  

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