Thursday, April 27, 2006

Annoying Relative of the Week

Ah, annoying relatives. Do they set out to irritate us? Do they practice in front of the mirror every morning to perfect their art? Really, what family would be whole without at least one? Our Thanksgivings would surely not be as fun.

Well, in honor of these special family members, I’d like to offer a recent exchange I had with someone in my family, who shall remain nameless lest someone he knows reads this blog someday, but who really deserves the title of... Annyoying Relative of the Week.

Scene: It's Friday, which is usually my day off, but I had to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to put in overtime at the office. I'm finally headed home. I'm tired, harried, and already annoyed. That's when I run into this special person. Here is a snippet from our exchange:

Relative: Did you comb your hair today?

Me (taken off guard): Huh?

Relative: Did you comb your hair? (Apparently he thinks I’m not only poorly groomed but also a deaf moron.)

Me (incredulous): Uh, yeah.

Relative: Well, it’s hard to tell. You might want to run a brush through it.

Me (stupidly defensive):
What?! My hair looks fine. I’ve had a busy day. I haven’t had time to worry about my hair. Anyway, I don’t really care how it looks.

Relative: I’m just saying you might want to comb it.

Me: (speechless)

Relative: Well, you want M to grow up one day and say “My mommy is pretty” don’t you?


Wow. That. Was. RUDE!

But as totally offensive as it was, it got me thinking. What do I want my Little Guy to say about me when he grows up? Do I want him to say, “My mommy is pretty. She’s beautiful. She looks great in those Seven Jeans?”

Or do I want him to say, “Mommy is smart. Mommy makes me laugh. We have fun together. Mommy loves me. Mommy makes me feel safe. I love my mommy.” I think I’m more inclined to want to hear these things from my Little Guy.

And yeah, it would be nice if he thought his mother was pretty too. But if not, I’ll live.


Anonymous clair said...

Don't you just wish people would just go find something better to do? ;(

3:16 AM  
Blogger K. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:26 AM  
Blogger K. said...

Ok, that was me deleting posts above...

What I was trying to say is that your son will think you are both beautiful and smart. Believe it.

4:27 AM  
Blogger Marcie said...

My 10 year old son will say that I look pretty every once in a while. It really makes my day because it's so sincere. But I hope he thinks I'm smart, nice, etc. everyday.

5:48 AM  
Blogger Mega Mom said...

Growing up the youngest of 5 with 3 older brothers I'm going to take a wild guess and say that was your brother. They still know how to get my goat after all these years. Of course, try to turn the tables and they're all defensive. They can dish it out, but can't take it :))

I think the latter is what you want your little guy to think!

6:23 AM  
Blogger Kel said...

My MIL pretty much wins Annoying Relative of the Week every week.

I agree though I think it would be neat if my little guys thought I was smart AND pretty.

There is so much I want to "show" my boys about women that I hope I do it justice.

7:15 AM  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

I think that person deserves Asshole relative of the week, not annoying relative of the week. Jeez. I wouldn't have been able to resist saying something really nasty in return.

8:45 AM  
Blogger jennster said...

omfg. certain relatives it should be okay to lock them in basements without food or something

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Well, hey -- if having neat hair is a prerequisite for being pretty, I guess I must be seriously ugly.

Silly man. As Bugs Bunny would say -- what a maroon.

11:08 AM  
Blogger something blue said...

That was a horrible thing for him to say.

Being pretty doesn't make anyone a good mom. I like your aspirations.

11:16 AM  
Blogger cameo said...

did you ask him if he wanted your son to say he was an idiot asshole when he grew up? cuz trust me, that might be a good thing to teach him. oh that's mean. oh well. if the foo shits.... and good luck with the whole brush through the hair thing. cuz we all know THAT'S what makes the world go round! :)

2:58 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

EXACTLy. (I am pointing at the all posts above me, I do that A LOT, it turns out my fellow bloggers are some pretty smart cookies).
I mean how shallow is it to say you want your son to think you're pretty cuz you have nice hair?!

How many kids do you think are sitting in prison/juvvy/drug rehab at a group right now crying sobbing when it's thier turn to talk and say, "OH my GAWD, if my Mom would have just COMBED her hair I would have had a perfect childhood you guys. She always walked around looking like she was busy taking care of me and going to work and stuff like that. If she just would have stopped for a MINUTE, checked her compact, and combed her hair everything would have been fine. *sniffle sniffle*"

UH-HUH, me neither. I DON"T think it would happen. :) This is what I am hoping anyways.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Thanks, everyone, for your comments. It feels good to vent once and a while about this kind of stuff.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous krista said...

i'd much rather have my son think that i am "cool" than pretty.

i have a dumb relative story too. i just bought a house. when i told my dumb relative (my mom) she said "congratulations, i guess"


5:07 PM  
Anonymous kvetch said...

Next time just say, "why should i care? you obviously don't and you've made out just fine." ok, that was mean. your annoying relative annoyed me!

6:36 PM  
Blogger Fidget said...

my evil spawn of satan MIL lives 4 minutes away, thankfully that it's 4 minutes in teh opposit direction of McDonalds so i NEVER see her. She's a huge bizz itch and would say something like "wow, you look fat today"

she's also notorious for giving everyone food poisoning

Thanks for stopping by

8:57 PM  
Blogger Pattie said...

Geez...that wasn't very nice.
Good for you for remembering that your baby will be brought up appreciating you for WHAT MATTERS!!!

11:55 PM  
Blogger HeatherJ said...

Luckily we don't see our relatives often enough to deal with lovely comments like that. My daughter will tell me if my hair looks "silly" but she always follows that with a "you're the best mama."

12:25 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Oh wow. Were you talking to my grandmother?! That sounds exactly like something she would say.

Brains before Beauty, that's the way to go. If you're smart and don't brush your hair (and I'm sure your hair looked fine) then people will think you're quirky.

6:20 AM  
Blogger Andie D. said...

That relative HAS to be your mom, right? Only a mom would have the gall to say something like that to your face without expecting a backlash. Sheesh!

I think that I'd rather have my kids think that I was great over thinking that I looked great too!

6:52 AM  
Blogger Money Makers Guide for Newbies said...

Thanks for the post...I feel your pain, I have a relative that just loves to talk about themselves and it's like everything they do is a historical event to them.

9:41 AM  

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