Wednesday, October 25, 2006

With love, C

I've never had a lot of friends. That's not to say I've been friendless or a loner. I've just never had a huge, giganto group of friends. I've always had a few close friends and a best friend and that's been enough. But somehow, as I get older, I've found that even some of these close friendships have gone by the wayside. Maybe it's because I'm too busy to give them the attention and nuturing that all friendships need to thrive. Maybe it's because when you grow older you sometimes also grow apart. Maybe it's that people move around so much that it can be hard to sustain long-distance friendships. Whatever the case may be, I can count my good friends on one hand - maybe even one hand minus a pinky finger.

And yet, once in a while I will meet someone and think, this person and I have the potential to be great friends. And I get excited. (Because like I said, I can count my friends on one hand minus a pinky finger.)

When I met A a few years ago, I knew we would become friends.

I know you don't know A, but if you did know her, you would like her. I know it. First of all, she is just a nice, nice person. And lemme tell you, nice people - sincerely nice people - can be hard to come by. She is so nice that at first I thought it was an act. But as I got to know her, I realized that it wasn't an act, she is just, honest-to-goodness nice. She's the type of person you know would never say one mean word behind your back or behind anyone else's back. You can trust her, and that means a lot to me.

Secondly, she's a fantastic mom and gives me great mothering advice without being all preachy. And she only gives out the advice when I ask for it. And she runs her own daycare out of her home so she can stay home with her two kiddies. That fact alone qualifies her for Mom of the Year in my book.

Third, we always seem to be on the same page with stuff. Take politics. She thinks that this site is awesome. And so do I. 'Nuff said.

And finally, she can make me laugh, which is imperative in a good friend. Case in point: Read this, which she e-mailed me today. Really, go read it. You will be laughing. Hard. Guaranteed.*

But I must say that despite all of her good qualities, there is one reason I don't like A. And I hate to hate such a nice person, but here's the thing - just as we're getting to be good friends, just as I'm starting to visualize our little boys growing up together and us getting together regularly for coffees and talking about our relationships and doing fun no-husband-or-kids-allowed girly things like pedicures and stuff, just when I'm starting to settle in to a really nice, cozy friendship...

she fucking leaves me.

Yeah, that's right, she leaves. Moves clear across the country with her husband, two kids, and her cat to find affordable fucking housing. As if it's soooo important to have a roof over your head. Sheesh, some people! And in the meantime, what about ME? What about our coffees and our pedicures and our little boys growing up together?? What about that? Huh?

But in reality, it's OK, cuz I wouldn't want her stuck here in an apartment with two kiddies, a cat, and a husband just so she could be close to me. And I'm sooo glad she didn't do that. (Cuz I just know she was tempted. I know it.) But really, I WANT her to have a house she can afford. It just sucks that she had to go to another state to find one. But we do still keep in touch and try to do the long-distance friend thing. So it's really OK.

But here's the news. The news I'm totally excited about.

She just started a blog. A blog!! She is my first actual in-the-flesh friend that has started a blog.

And here it is: Red Rollerskate

Please go pay her a visit. And tell her I said "Hi" and that housing prices are taking a dive in California so she should move back here immediately. Or else.

This post was written in response to Chicky Chicky Baby's lovefest post in which she asked bloggers to write about a blogger they love.

*Edited to add: RR just informed that this was originally posted by Mom-o-Matic, another funny, funny blogger. Thank you for the laugh, M-o-M!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am the same way when it comes to close friends. I have 2...One is moving to Texas. Great.

I oved that letter. I laughed and snorted. I'm adding her to my blogroll right after I type this...


4:04 AM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

I can so relate to this.

I'm going there now...

5:12 AM  
Blogger Red Rollerskate said...

Aw, C, Thank You!
That was so sweet. You know how, when you're kids, you can give someone a friendship bracelet or say they are your best friend, but as an adult, what do you do? (I guess you write a blog post). Anyway, we never say this stuff as adults, but I feel the same way. Thanks for saying it!
P.S. That funny email post about the Vietnamese Waxer Lady was originally posted on Mom-O-Matic's web site ( I may not have mentioned that to you when I emailed the CL ad to you. :)

5:45 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Fantastic! What a great twist on the blogging love-in. Any woman who sends you a link to that Craigslist entry is a woman I'd like to get to know.

6:00 AM  
Blogger monica said...

Oh hun, I so understand. I have a handful of true friends. I think in life you only have a handful. You know?

6:05 AM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

I love it when good friends start blogs. I'm headed over to Red Rollerskate right now.

6:33 AM  
Anonymous mona said...

Oh, it's sad when a friend moves away and throws a wrench into your whole plans. I get that excited feeling, too, when I meet someone and hope she becomes my friend before she finds out how much of a dork I am.

6:56 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

I am so in the same boat. I never had many if any friends, and I feel the pain now.

Going over for a visit now...

6:56 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

RR: oh wow, that was Mom-o-Matic that posted that originally? OK, I will link to her directly. She's a funny lady. I'm not surprised you found it there!

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Momish said...

All my friends did this to me too! One even moved to another country, talk about nerve. But, at least there is the internet now. I am heading over there right away!

6:59 AM  
Blogger Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Long-distance friendships are so much easier to keep in tact when the friends blog...too bad my two closest don't really update theirs must be my payback for being so very unavailable after my boys were born:(

I just don't understand why they can't be as obssessed with the internet as I am;>

7:30 AM  
Blogger jo(e) said...

There should be some kind of rule about friends moving away. I hate when that happens.

Heading over now to check out the blog ....

7:31 AM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Vietnamese Waxer Lady for President!

7:36 AM  
Blogger something blue said...

Friends are as necessary as breathing. Even if you don't live close, you can still maintain the best friendship in the world and the time spent together is even more precious.

Off to have coffee with Red Rollerskate...

8:12 AM  
Blogger Kyla said...

OMG!! While I was reading this, I was like this friend sounds just like Red Rollerskate (because I read her blog)...then I was like "No, it can't be." and then BAM! It was! So weird!

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

Yeah, in the last few years, I have learned the true value of a close friend. Sadly, I have more close than I do IRL. That's cool and all, but hard when I need someone in person to hold my hand through the rough shit.

But it's not about me, is it? I will check A out (anyone's name who starts with A has to be kick ass) and hug to you for sticking through the long distance muck. It does pay off, I promise. just ask my long distance boyfriend-turned-husband about the value of a phone call.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Waya said...

Trying to find a friend that you can get along, relate to, and your kids and their kids play well together is like dating. It's rough out there. And I can also count a number of friends on one hand w/o the pinky too.

Glad you have such a great relationship with A, and I'll be checking out her blog soon.

Funny stuff about the VWL.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Cece said...

Great post!

I've got a handful of good friends, too, and none of them live in CA w/me. What's up with that? The closest, and the one I see most often, lives in WA. Its totally doable, just takes some planning. The 5 of us friends get together once a year on a no-husbands-no-kids-girls-ONLY weekend. This year we were in Chicago & in March they're coming to ME! Then we're driving to Mexico for a long weekend of a beach house & Margaritas! Hopefully you & A will be able to keep the close friendship even if she's away.

10:02 AM  
Blogger jennster said...

awwww- this is so sweet. i heart you!

10:22 AM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

That was an amazing post, and I did laugh my asspubes off with both links...waxing and Impeach....Thanks.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Mona: it's actually your "dorkiness" that I love most about you.

Oh the Joys: Yeah, move over Oprah. I'm voting for Vietnamese Waxer Lady too! Write-in candidate!

Andrea: i've often wished i lived closer to some of my blogging buds, and since we are twins and all, you are at the top of my list. Hugs back!

Cece: wow, it sounds like you have great get-togethers with your friends. I'm lucky if I get out to dinner with them!

10:38 AM  
Blogger Guinevere Meadow said...

It really stink when friends move away. I totally know what you mean, I also have a few really close friends as opposed to a league of acquaintences- which I think is better, anyway, but when there are fewer of them and one leaves, it's really tough. I'm glad you're able to keep in touch via blogging!

12:44 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Well.....I can so relate. My girlfriend lives in California....and I live in sucks..thank God for phones and airplanes.......

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Yeah, just what I need, another blog to read. ;-)

just kidding of course. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine. I'll head over there and check her out in a bit.

And I'm sorry she has moved away -- hope that means you two can get together in person for fun stuff like holidays and long weekends.

5:36 PM  
Blogger Piece of Work said...

That was HIGH-larious. Thank you! ANd A.

I'm sorry she's moving away. That sucks donkey balls, and I can't think of anything else to say about it.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

I'm always happy to make room in the blogworld for nice people. You are right... they're hard to find! Happy you did. :)

4:57 AM  
Blogger Linus said...

I LOVE the ITMFA website! We all need a friend who introduces us to websites like that :)

I'm off to check out Red Rollerskate ...

6:30 AM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

MOTR, I will visit Red Rollerskate and am sorry that she moved leaving you in a friendship lurch. We all know it happens in life, but it's really tough when it's a truly special friend like that.

I, also, don't have many close friends (tho' plenty of acquaintances through R'd school)and my best friend died this year. I try to cultivate some friendships in the neighborhood, but the personalities aren't really matching up well -- If you don't call every day it's taken as a slight. If you don't gossip, you're not really part of the neighborhood.

I'm still searching for a few real friends who are close enough to hook up with on a regular basis (my best friends are literally scattered across the country). I just hope I don't come across as too needy!

7:58 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

I don't have any "real in the flesh" friends who have a blog. I do have a friend who I met online who I talk to on the phone, but we live too far away to visit right now. I only have 2 close friends who I trust, and they don't live in my state either. I need to make some friends LOL.

9:16 AM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

What a sweet post. I am gonna go check out her blog right now.

9:51 AM  
Blogger beth said...

It must be nice to have some real life blog friends. If I have any I am not aware, nor are they I would imagine since nobody knows about it.

And um, excellent link that she sent you. It deserves your ROFL award. I'll be sure to check out RR.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Red Rollerskate said...

Wait, after reading this again, I stumbled upon something. When you first met me, you thought it was an act??? AN ACT???

3:46 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Well, maybe that wasn't quite the right way to put it. I guess what I was trying to say is that I was suprised that someone could naturally be so nice and friendly and all, ya know? Given where we worked, can you blame me?

4:14 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Red Rollerskate, how dare you move?

Just kidding. And yes, I've been reading Red's blog. Isn't it the coolest when you have a friend who starts blogging?

7:11 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

I have some awesome real life friends that blog and I love it!

I am that friend. The friend that moves. Sorry. It is the husband's fault!

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Much More Than A Mom said...

Aw. I'll go see her now...

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Much More Than A Mom said...

Okay - I went there but couldn't leave her a comment because I blog in Wordpress, not Blogger. Tell her I really like her blog - I can see why you two are friends!

8:11 AM  
Anonymous Much More Than A Mom said...

Heh. My word verification was 'fking'. I'm easily amused!

8:12 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Thanks, Much More than a Mom! I will let her know. I didn't know that WordPress bloggers couldn't comment on blogspot blogs. Is that for blogspots using the new version of blogger?

2:36 PM  
Blogger Red Rollerskate said...

I just changed it so that anyone can comment. Didn't realize it was so *exclusive.*

6:14 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

That link made me snort smoothie. Oh. My. God.

I know how you feel. Mayberry Mom left me behind back in New Jersey. But then I moved too, we both started blogs, and we reunited at BlogHer. I'm glad that you and A are on a similar path!

12:29 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

I had a good friend leave me for similar reasons, too. Sadly, our attempts at the long distance friendship thing have become less and less successful - but then, she doesn't have a blog. :-)

Off to check out A's blog!

5:20 AM  
Anonymous Dana said...

My goodness. That website about impeaching a mother flubber kind of rendered me speechless....

This was a wonderful post! Thanks!

7:55 PM  
Blogger Lotta said...

Always happy to share crotch humor.

And thanks for the props! I will be going to sleep and replaying "she's a funny funny lady" to myelf. I might even nudge my husband and say "She said funny TWICE. Funny FUNNY lady!"

9:55 PM  
Blogger Lotta said...

Ok I am on new meds so it's likely I will be replaying your comments to "MyElf" but I will also be replaying them to "myself"

9:56 PM  
Blogger Emmie said...

great! Hail Mommy!
Love greeting cards

4:02 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

BlogHer Ad Network
More from BlogHer
Advertise here
BlogHer Privacy Policy

Moms Speak Up

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

A Perfect Post

A Perfect Post

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

More Bling