Thursday, February 05, 2009

Cartoons. They Ain't All That Bad.

Little Guy (out of nowhere): Trust is something you can't put back together again.

Me: What?

Little Guy:
Trust is something you can't put back together again.

Me (thinking): Holy crap. He heard Husband and I arguing last night! Great. He's scarred for life.

Me: Where did you hear that?

Little Guy: On Bernstein Bears.

Oh, Phewwww.

This is just further proof that the Bernstein Bears are better parents than Husband and I. And weirdly, I'm kind of OK with that.

[Filed under Cute Things My 3-Year-Old Says]

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

This is hard

Being a parent is officially hard.

What? It's not all going to be easy? It's not going to be baby book, Picture People perfect? But that's what I want. That's what I signed up for. I didn't sign up for the hard stuff. No, correction. I signed up for it. I just didn't realize what I signed up for. And now I don't know if I can do it. I mean, I CAN do some things. I can do midnight feedings and colic that ends in 4.5 months and broken legs and tantrums and even back-to-back episodes on Cartoon Network. I can DO those things.

What I can't do is this other stuff. This pleading, begging, praying to GOD every day for my son to come out of this thing he's in. This thing that makes him not let himself poop. WHY won't he do it? WHY?? This is certainly a form of hell and I just have to figure out how we got here. Maybe then I can figure out how we can get out. The pediatric psychiatrist says "Don't catastrophize the future." Yeah. Easy for you to say. Have you read the message boards? The places were desperate parents are hanging out trying to figure it out like we are? Their children are 6, 8, 12, and older. They are STILL trying to figure it out. They're still going crazy, living in their own hell. But who knows, maybe it will get better right? Maybe. Or maybe in 100, 200, 400 days I will still be pleading, begging, bribing, praying to GOD every night for my son to poop....please it's been 3, 5, 7, 8, 9 days, please just poop. And then, as usual, prayers don't do the trick and it's a slow, horrible process to get it out by other means. And after a year, it's not gotten better. It's only getting worse.

Self-pity is a horrible thing. It makes you feel even more awful about yourself for pitying yourself and you end up in this weird paradoxical box that you can't get out of. That is where I am.

I think the definition of a horrible mother must be the one that pities herself when her own child is suffering. Yep, that's me. Mother's Day be damned. That's for mothers who get it right. I thought I was getting it right. Just read through the archives of my blog. I was happy. We were happy. Now our family is hanging on by a thread. Precarious. Scared. UNhappy. How did we get here? Delving into that would take too much energy today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Encopresis Yahoo Group

I have started a Yahoo Group for parents of children with encopresis, children who hold their poop. I am posting here in hopes that people will find this post in Google searches and join up for advice-sharing and support.

Here is the link to the group: Encopresis Kids Yahoo Group

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Sunday, January 18, 2009

A conversation

A conversation between me and my three-year-old earlier today.

Him: Bitch and fuck are not kind words.

Me: No they're not.

Him: No, because we should never say bitch or fuck. Because they are not kind.

Me: That's right. We should never use those words.

Him: Yeah.


We have this conversation on a weekly basis. He gets his chance to say bitch and fuck and there is nothing I can do about it. He knows it. And I know it. I HATE being outwitted by a three year old. DamnIT.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

My Three Year Old Has a Shrink. God Help Me.

Reading back upon the post that kind of started it all for this blog in which as a new first-time mother, I wrote (off the record) that "if my kids don't end up in therapy, I shall celebrate", I find it ironic (and yes, I'm 99% sure I'm using this word wrong, but whatever)....I find it ironic that my child is now actually entering therapy (WTF??) at the young age of THREE (holy crap).

Yes, his first psychologist's appointment is tomorrow morning. And before you tell me that's CRAZY. I know it is. Totally. Crazy. But it is what it is. And there is a backstory that would make it seem a little less crazy, but I don't have time to do into the details right now. Suffice it to say that I've never been one to shy away from asking for help and I've been seeing this guy for a while now on my own to get tips on Little Guys' encopresis (which is like 99% mental) and he has been helpful and really wants to meet him in person to get a sense of his personality. He says it will help him give me good advice.

And Little Guy is doing a little better too. We have good days and bad days. Hopefully, more good days than bad days are on the horizon.

And yes, margheritas are still totally in order around here. Winter be damned.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Reason #467 That I Don't Eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken

KFC Workers Fired For Bathing In Sink

Finger lickin' gooood.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Encopresis Support Groups

Please go to the following link to sign up for an Encopresis Support Group

This group was formed to support parents with children who suffer from encopresis.

Here are some other resources

The Yahoo Group on "miralax" alternatives if your child is on laxatives.

And here is a program that has worked for many people who were at the end of their rope, so to speak. Soiling Solutions:

If you are dealing with this issue, know that you are not alone. God bless.
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