Monday, July 30, 2007

An Open Letter to Coca-Cola

Dear Coca-Cola,

If there's one thing that annoys me, it's food and drink products masquerading to be something they're not - or shouldn't be. Take McDonald's for example. Their new media strategy to employ "real moms" to blog about how great Big Macs are for their families makes me want to hurl my fries. I don't care if you can get a side of apple "dippers" with your Happy Meal, McDonald's is not in the health food business.

And for that matter, neither are you Coca-Cola. So why do you continue to pretend like you are?

It annoys me enough to see "diet" soft drinks on the market. Cuz, hey, if I'm planning to be on a diet, I don't think I should be reaching for a can of carbonated artificially-sweetened water. I just can't believe it's part of a nutritious diet. Sorry.

But if that's not enough, you're now introducing Diet Coke Plus - a "good source of niacin, B3, B6, B12, zinc and magnesium."

WTF? Diet Coke is now a good source for me to get my B vitamins?

I don't think so. Not for me at least.

Don't get me wrong. I like Coca-Cola - the real stuff. And I drink it from time to time. It's sugary and high-calorie - the way a soda should be.

But please spare me by trying to use health gimmicks to sell what is, basically, an unhealthful product. It insults me. No offense.


MotR - real mom blogger #4,567

On another topic, did something happen this weekend? I keep hearing about something called "Blog Her"? What did I miss?

(Heh. I'm totally joking of course. I can't wait to see pictures and hear all about the drunken debauchery from those who got to go! In the meantime, I am now officially 37 weeks preggers. Woo-hoo! I'm in countdown mode!)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Don't Ya Just Love Trolls?

Check out what "anonymous" had to say on one of my recent posts about Husband.

It's not often that someone leaves a comment and manages to insult not only myself but also my fellow bloggers and American women in general. Nice.

Leave it to a dude to totally not get it. *sigh*

Just further proves my point that some men are in need of a good body slamming.

Click here for my new review of Wateroos - an all-natural fruit-flavored water drink for kids.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer

I'm plagerizing for the first time ever in my post today. But I have permission! You may already know WhyMommy at Toddler Planet. She has two beautiful little boys. She also has inflammatory breast cancer. I am writing about her on my blog in case there are some bloggers who visit here who haven't heard of her yet. Amazingly, though recently diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer, she is already courageously fighting the cancer AND generously trying to get the word out about the disease in order to save the life of another woman who might have it and not know how to recognize it until it's too late.

Instead of writing more about this myself, I'd rather let her speak about it in her own words. With her permission, I am re-posting her blog entry about the disease from earlier this week. She is encouraging as many bloggers as possible to do the same. To read more about this amazing woman, go to her blog Toddler Planet.

Inflammatory breast cancer
by WhyMommy at Toddler Planet, originally posted 7/23/07

We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?

I didn’t. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.

Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn’t clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.

Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you’re concerned and want to come in to rule it out.

There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It’s not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we’re pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It’s important not to miss this one.

Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it’s trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.

You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

It's Nice to Know He'd Help Me Steal My Placenta

Gosh, if it weren't for Husband, I don't know what I'd be blogging about lately.
I love the dear man. Even though he has made me into a golf widow on more than one Sunday. Including this Sunday. As in today.

Not that I'm bitter. Oh no. I enjoy spending "family time" on my weekend with two-thirds of my family. *ahem*

Anyway. I think I'll keep Husband around despite his frequent trips to the golf course. Not only do we actually love each other (a pretty good thing for a marriage), but he also amuses me on a fairly regular basis.

For example, he likes to e-mail me at work with links to newsworthy articles and then provide me with his commentary. Here's a sampling from last week.

Mom Accused of Driving 14-Year-Old Son to Kill Rival
What he said: Hey, at least these kids got their mother’s permission.

He was totally joking of course.

I think.

Easy Bake Toy Ovens Recalled This Week
What he said: I think that is part of the charm. I mean, c’mon when you are cooking on a real stove that is a real possibility. I don’t know how many times I burned my fingers. Making it more hazardous will make the kids think twice about getting too smart and making cookies in the kitchen oven...

Actually, a fairly interesting point - though cruel when you think about it. Later, I asked him if he liked to torture animals when he was little.

I'm still waiting for an answer.

Placenta Fight: Mom Wanted to Eat It - Judge Orders Hospital To Return It
What he said: It's kinda hard to tell me I can’t take it with me when I’m already out the door with my Little Playmate brand Ice Cooler...

What a women's rights advocate!

Not that I'm planning to dine on my placenta anytime soon, but if I were, at least I know he'd have my back. That's how I know I've got a good man. He'd do anything for me. Even help me steal my placenta. Awwwwww.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Oh Husband, What Will I Ever Do With You?

So, as part of the hypnobabies program that I am studying, I am supposed to write down all of my fears about childbirth and then listen to a "fear release" CD that is supposed to help de-program my fears so that I can relax and have a more comfortable birth experience.

Husband is supposed to do this as well - that is, write down his fears and listen to the CD.

A few nights ago, I told him that it was time for us to do this part of the program. He didn't want to write down his fears so we just decided we would discuss them together.

I have so many fears, I didn't know where to start. Like here are a few off the top of my head:

--I fear that when the baby comes out, it will again feel like someone took a large knife and cut my vagina open. Ouch-y.

--I fear that if I get an epidural, it won't work (again), but I'll still have nurses trying to tell me that I'm getting pain relief and I won't be able to convince them that IT FUCKING HURTS LIKE A MO-FO and I'm not getting any stinkin' relief.

--I fear that this whole hypnosis thing won't even work.

--I fear that my doctor won't know how to properly stitch me up and I'll end up with pain "down there" for 8 long weeks.

Yeah, so, with about 200 more fears besides these, I figured maybe it would better if Husband went first. I asked him and he agreed.

"So, what is one of your fears?" I asked.

I expected him to say something like, "Not knowing how to help you in labor" or "Finding out something is wrong with the baby" or something that had something remotely to do with... oh I dunno.... childbirth.

But here is what he said:

"I have this fear that I won't be able to hit my golf shot at the course this weekend the way I've been practicing it."

And he was dead serious.

(Since it was too hard to body slam him in my pregnant state, I have yet to figure out what a fitting punishment should be for this. Any ideas, let me know.)

New at the Review Blog: I've found the most fabulously luxurious bamboo towels. And they're environmentally friendly too!

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Monday, July 16, 2007

Mortification Thy Name is Mommy

The good news is that Little Guy is copying everything we say.

The bad news is that Little Guy is copying everything we say.

A few months ago, I was a little worried that he might be a bit behind the curve with his vocabulary, but lately he's become a human tape recorder, feeding back to us exactly what we have just said. Sometimes, he even finishes our sentences.

It's really pretty cute. Usually.

And then the other day, this occurred:

Me: What the....

Little Guy:

I was completely speechless. He's just barely turned two and he's already using cuss words. Muthaf$&%$#!!!!!! It's not like I ever cuss. I mean, not in front of him anyway. I don't think???!? OMG, do I? I don't even know anymore. This has made me second guess everything that's ever come out of my mouth!

However, to calm myself down, I chose to look on the bright side. He could have said "fuck", but he said "heck". So....technically, that's like a victory, right?


I'm off to say 10 Hail Marys now.

I'm sorry I haven't been around visiting blogs much lately. I will be trying to catch up with you all this week.

I have a new review up over here. I'm giving away a free copy of the newly released special edition Winnie the Pooh DVD to one lucky person who comments on the post!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

More Airline Madness

Have you heard about this?

This is so outrageous that I can't even believe it happened. A mother and her 19-month-old son got kicked off a flight because the little boy was saying "bye bye plane" over and over. The flight attendant even asked the mother to drug her son with Benadryl to keep him quiet. What????

Apparently, this flight attendant has never been around children. Apparently, she has no moral conscience. Apparently, she doesn't care that the whole world will now think she's a bitch. And apparently, she doesn't value her job because (hopefully) she's about to be fired.

Sucks for her.


Confessions of a Bad Mommy

Is it wrong to look forward to going to work more than staying home with my toddler?

Cuz I do.

I work three days a week at my job and I stay home two days a week with Little Guy.

And after two years, I can tell ya that I get excited when I get to go to work - and not so excited when I have to stay home.

There, I said it.

*hangs head in shame*


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Little Guy Turns Two, Eats Elmo Whole

Little Guy turned two last week. I will give you three guesses as to what the theme of the party was. Here are a few hints:

We had Elmo plates, Elmo balloons, Elmo party favors, an Elmo tablecloth, and other assorted Elmo decorations.
Yep, Elmo was the inevitable choice as a party theme. Little Guy is obsessed with the red furry monster and has to watch Elmo's World episodes regularly. If not, he's like a crack addict who can't get his fix.

So what better way to curb his addiction than by decorating the whole house in Elmo for his birthday - yeah!

Even Husband has become strangely addicted to Elmo. You may remember me writing about how Elmo is causing friction in our marriage? Yeah, well, he was so excited about doing an Elmo party for Little Guy that he insisted that we bake our own Elmo cakes for the party.

Then he actually ordered the special cake pan, paid $12 to rush ship it to the house, and travelled 10 miles to the craft store to get the frosting dyes and cake decorating set.

We ended up making two cakes. Check it out...

I swear. Husband took more photos of the birth of these cakes, then he did of the birth of our first-born child. No joke. He even harrassed party guests by making them choose which Elmo cake they liked better - the one I decorated or the one he decorated. He was happy to find that everyone picked his cake. I guess they could feel the true love he put into it, eh?

But I must say that, in the end, the 3 hours of blood, sweat, tears, and permanently red-dyed fingers that resulted from making these cakes paid off. For this:

The smile that made it all worth it.

I have a new review up over here on a great new book for preggos. I only wish I had read it sooner. Check it out!


Thursday, July 05, 2007

The good news is I don't have to wear a swimsuit in public now. The bad news is I wasted 150 bucks.

Really cute UV protectant Gap Kids swim trunks and swim shorts for Little Guy: $35

Really cute matching Gap Kids thongs that I just couldn't resist: $6.99

Really not-so-cute (but essential) maternity bathing suit from Motherhood Maternity: $40

Extra large swim skirt to cover my ever-expanding ass while in said swimming suit: $25.99

Fee to join Bubble Blowers swim class for infants and toddlers at the local public pool: $50

The look on my face as Little Guy preceded to throw an ultimate toddler tantrum in front of 10 mothers and their obedient children already in the water waiting for class to start and my sudden realization that there was no way my kid was EVER, EVER, EVER! getting into that pool: Priceless.

The good news is that now that I have no air conditioning, I will be using the maternity suit daily, as I have purchased a large plastic baby pool and planted it in the front yard under our tree where Little Guy and I will be spending our days seated in the water so that our skin doesn't melt off of our bodies. One must always look on the bright side, right?

I've got a new review up at Mama Likes. Click over to read about a great new book called The 24-Hour-Pharmacist, plus information on how to win a $50 gift card to CVS through the Parent Bloggers Network.

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

So Screwed

It's July.

I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant.

And today my air conditioning broke.

But I guess I shouldn't worry too much. I mean, it's only going to be over 100 friggin degrees tomorrow and every day for the rest of this week.

In fact, I think Yahoo weather should forgo posting the actual degrees and simply post this picture of a firey ball of flames.

Cuz, yeah, it's gonna be hotter than hell this week.

And I have no air conditioning.

Did I say that already?

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007

What I'll Do for 10 Minutes of Alone Time

Yeah, so, it's confession time.

Occasionally, during Little Guy's mealtime or snacktime I take the opportunity to get a few things done in another room - I'll fold some clothes or pay a few bills or surf some blogs. I usually get about 5-10 minutes to myself this way.

But it's always risky - you know, leaving a toddler alone with food.

Usually it all works out.

That is, unless I leave him alone a little too long. Like today.

I guess I should have come to him the instant I heard him call my name, but I think I might have waited about 30.9 seconds too long.

And in that time, destruction....

Hey mommy, cottage cheese and applesauce make a really good medium for finger painting. Who knew?

If you can't see it in the picture, he had not only dumped out his own bowl of food, but also the entire tub of cottage cheese that lay within his reach on the table.

And that chair he's sitting on? Yeah, that belongs to the $2500 dining room table that I purchased pre-kids and that I use as our kitchen table because a) we no longer have a dining room and b) I haven't had the courage to sell it on Craigslist for the measly $250 I'm likely to get. Why isn't the chair seat covered with something to keep it clean, you ask? Yeah, hmmm, good question. (Hindsight, people, hindsight.)

And yet, as I stooped over to clean the cottage cheese out of the crevice between his stomach and his diaper, I totally felt like it was all worth getting the extra 10 minutes to myself today.

Totally worth it.

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Monday, July 02, 2007

Rock On

Melissa at Tendrils' Ink and Karly at Wiping up Snot have recently bestowed me a Rockin' Girl Blogger Award. Thank you both! I was totally surprised!

And...because you just shouldn't receive an award without giving one out, I would like to give the Rockin' Girl Blogger Award to the following fine ladies of the blogosphere.

The Journey: Kyla is such an inspiration to me. Every time I read her blog, I feel so guilty for ever complaining about the frustrations of being a mom. Her daughter, KayTar, has been diagnosed with benign praoxysmal torticollis of infancy and she blogs a lot about the challenges that stem from this. And yet I don't think I can remember her ever complaining. She so clearly loves both of her kids and will do anything for them. Like I said, she inspires me.

My Life...sports fan, political communication PhD, wife, daughter, sister: Like myself, ffbgirl is pregnant so I felt connected with her immediately even though I just started reading her blog recently. She's been going through a lot lately, but she's handling it all with much grace and courage, and I admire her for that.

My Minivan is Faster Than Yours: This lady just makes me laugh. Every single time. I've just started reading her blog, but I'm already hooked.

Rock on, ladies. Rock on.

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