WTF - Republican Candidates Edition

This may be old news, but somehow I just read about it today:

PENSACOLA, FL. Asked for a reaction to the news that he'd been endorsed by reality-soap bad girl Heidi Montag of "The Hills," John McCain told Swampland: "I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of 'The Hills,' especially since the new season started."

Seriously? Seriously.

That McCain would actually utter the words "I'm honored to have Heidi's support" of a reality TV show star from The Hills is only slightly more embarrassing (but admittedly no less entertaining) than Palin's appearance on Saturday Night Live this weekend in which she allowed herself to be mocked by the stars of SNL while she lamely participated in the sketches. I'm not sure if she realized that they were laughing at her, and not with her, the whole time. Maybe one day she'll look back at it all (from Alaska) and laugh...

p.s.

p.s. Did I say my son is beautiful? I love him to the ends of the earth. I will figure this out for him. I will.

So maybe I'm not crazy

Me here. Still talking about poop. Thinking about poop. Poop is my life.

You know, I've been searching the far reaches of the Internet for about two months now trying to figure out how to get my son to poop. Here are some of the things I've learned:

1. He's not pooping because he is afraid to poop (we know he has no physical problems).
2. High doses of Miralax or other laxatives may make it impossible to hold the poop in, but it will not cure him of his withholding problem, which means he may have to be on laxatives for a long time (read: years).
3. This is not something that is cured easily.

However, the most fascinating (and weirdly comforting) thing I have read now in two places is that parents that are dealing with this issue find it to be excruciatingly difficult. Difficult enough that they need to seek marital counseling. Difficult enough that the daily routine of their lives (what they do, where they go, what they talk about) is profoundly changed. I will list two quotes that I found noteworthy:

"Most people (including most pediatricians) cannot understand how difficult it is to get through each day in a household where there is a child withholding poop. For two years, my son did a straight-legged, backing-into- the-wall, screaming dance as he tried to hold it in. He could not eat, play or rest comfortably. Besides my son, I have a developmentally-delayed daughter and most of what she went through did not compare to the strain of trying to help my son." - mother reviewing the book It Hurts When I Poop! on Amazon.com

Then there was this one:

[Constipation] is cause of great anxiety, distress and pain for children and their families, but seems to be downplayed by professionals. I see visible relief when families find somebody who is taking their concerns seriously. Constipation devastates the lives of children and their families.

For example, one of my patients is a boy who has a serious heart defect that needs open-heart surgery. He came to our clinic because of constipation, which responded to treatment very quickly. At his next appointment his mother was delighted and said that treating the constipation had changed their lives beyond their wildest dreams. She mentioned that the commonest topic that was discussed at the parents support group for children with heart problems was in fact constipation. They are dealing with their children's heart problems just fine; it's the constipation that drives them crazy. - Anthony Cohn, Constipation, Withholding and Your Child

OK, so I'm not saying that it would be better if my child had a heart problem, but I do find solace (in some weird twisted way) that what we are going through isn't a small thing. It's a BIG problem. And it has nothing to do with potty training. As I have learned from reading many, many articles on stool withholding and encopresis, children who withhold are already toilet trained. It's not about getting him to poop on the potty. It's about getting him to poop period.

And if you saw my son tonight screaming to be left alone, twisting his legs, erecting his body, standing on tip toe, trying as hard as he could NOT to let the poop leave his body every 15 minutes all. day. long (I kid you not) you would see what it looks like for a child to be in terrible fear and pain over something that is not really painful at all. But these children live in fear every day. It's a phobia. And it's horrible.

So goes Day 5 with no poop.

Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

I can't take it anymore. I can't take it.

I don't know what to do.

This withholding. It's driving me crazy.

my day is at least 6 clean-ups. bad days are 10.

It's not about potty training. Potty training is the least of the problems.

Daycare has labeled him special needs. Because he won't poop. He can poop. He just won't poop. They said, "Maybe this isn't the daycare for you." Maybe not because though he is normal in every physical way, he has a fear of pooping.

A fucking fear of pooping.

So he has to be on a laxative now. I hope it won't cause him cancer.

My mother in law calls me a bad mother.

I guess I am.

Nothing we do is helping. Everything we do is not helping. Or so it seems.

I finally found one book about this called Constipation, Withholding and Your Child. by anthony cohn. Now I know what he has. And it's even more worrisome.

I know i sound like SUCH a whiner.

But I may have to quit my job because of this. Quit. my. job.

To stay home and clean my three year olds diapers.

And he's so smart. Has so much promise. ANd this just getting in the way.

It's been a year. And I'm at my ropes end.

When he's 15 years old, will he still be soiling like children with functional fecal retention?

When he's in grade school, will the nurse have to give him an enema every week like the story I read in this book? So he will grow up with this phobia foever, hiding dirty underwear. Pretending there is no problem.


ANd yeah, I sound like I'm crazy. I am crazy. Who's not crazy, right? Who???