Rebalancing

I don't know how to really begin this post so I'm going to just go ahead and say it: I'm taking a break from blogging. Probably a long break. Possibly a permanent break. I've been feeling the need to do this for a while now. Without going on and on about all the reasons why, I will just say that the main reason is that I just don't feel that I have time to blog anymore. The truth is that I never really had the time to blog, but I fit it in late at night, during Little Guy's naptimes, on breaks at work. I used up almost every free ounce of my time blogging - and I loved it. I loved having a writing outlet and I loved meeting other moms and dads (you!) over the Internet.

But when I became pregnant, I could no longer keep up. I couldn't stay up past 8:30pm. I was barely functioning at work. I was exhaused and nauseas all day and, though the exhaustion has lessened, I'm still battling vomiting and nausea in the mornings. As a result, the pregnancy has forced me to stop blogging with as much intensity as I had in the past. And as I stepped back from blogging, I realized that I had gotten a bit addicted to it. It had turned into almost a part-time job - only one I didn't get paid to do.

Also, I had become very guilt-ridden about commenting. Or not commenting, I should say. I almost completely stopped commenting on blogs for about 3 months during this pregnancy, and though I honestly can say that I don't feel that a blogger has to comment back to everyone who comments on their posts or that bloggers should have to comment on other blogs at all for that matter, for me, not commenting on any blogs made me feel very detached from the blogging community. I didn't like the feeling. Even though I was receiving comments on my posts, I felt almost like I had put myself in an isolation room. It was the weirdest thing. And yet I don't feel I have the time to keep up the connections and the relationships that I would like to in the blogosphere.

And then there's my life. The one I'd like to get back to. During my year of blogging, I rarely went to bed at the same time as my husband because I did most of my blogging in the evenings. I want to get our evenings back.

I want to do a lot of other things too. I want to do a hypnobirthing homestudy course. I want to take some prenatal yoga classes. I want to read for fun. I want to explore fun things for Little Guy and I to do in the Springtime. I want to get more involved with my mom friends and plan activities that we can do with our kids. I want to set up a living trust for our family - something we've put off for a while. I want to pursue getting my Italian citizenship - another thing I wanted to do forever and haven't gotten around to it. There are lot and lots of things that I've put off or scaled back on in order to blog and I feel it's time to rebalance my life a bit.

So after one year of blogging, I'm saying "good-bye." For now.

Actually, I've been saying good-bye in my heart for a few months now. I just haven't had the courage to tell you until now.

I didn't realize it would be so hard. It's damn hard. I will miss everyone so much.

But here's what I've been also thinking. I'm going to keep this blog up and if I feel like posting from time to time, I will. I don't know if I'll ever post again, but I might. (Like if I have an urgent need to post something about penises or ball scratchers.)

And I'm also planning to continue blogging on a more private site that I will be allowing my friends and family to access. Because one of the things I have realized is that I had posted less and less about Little Guy on this blog. Not sure how it happened but it did. So I want to start a blog that is just me writing down things that he does - nothing fancy, no blogroll or buttons or doo-dads - just a place to chronicle his new words and stuff like that. Once I start that blog, I would be happy to share the address with any of you who would like to keep in touch with me. And I also hope to continue to read - and hey comment now and then too! - on your blogs now again.

So, for now, thanks for being a reader of my blog. Thanks for taking the time to get to know me.

xoxoxoxo,
MotR

p.s. If anyone would like to keep in touch with me through my private mommy blog, please e-mail me and I'll share the address with you once I set it up.

We're gonna miss you guys.

Randomness that has nothing whatsoever to do with vomiting, I swear

Being home sick from work this week and with Little Guy taking refuge at my parents' house, I have had little more to do with my time than watch TV. So I feel that I can say without a doubt that there is a dearth of good programming on during the day. A dearth. I guess I could pick up an actual book and read but that would entail too much energy on my part. There's just something nice about lying back and letting the information come to you passively without even having to strain an eyelid, ya know? That's about my speed right now.

And yet, there's never. anything. good. on. (God, see I can totally complain about anything, even the lack of good daytime TV programming. Someone wanna give me 99 bucks? I'd probably complain I didn't get an even hundred.)

But anyways, yesterday I did watch two things that were great that I feel compelled to share with you.

1) One was on Dr. Phil, who normally annoys the crapola out of me but who had a show on that hooked me. He was interviewing the parents of the only deaf, blind triplets in the world. Hearing their daily struggles, I felt immediately embarrassed for anything I've ever complained about. I was compelled to donate to them. If you want to read more about the family or donate to them so that they can afford to hire intervenors for their children, go here.





2) Comedy Central had Dimitri Martin on. I cracked up through the whole. entire. show. He is my new favorite comedian. I couldn't find a clip of his Comedy Central routine, but his website is funnier than heck too. Check it out.





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Also, Chrissy found me a you tube video of the Perfect Strangers Final Clip Montage that includes Larry and Balki doing the dance of joy. Thanks, Chrissy! I swear that watching this almost made me cry from nostalgia. We just don't have these kind of quality programs anymore, ya know? (Although now I know that you can still catch old re-reruns of the Golden Girls on TV during the day. Anyone else a Golden Girls fan? No? Just me? Really?)

Un-fucking-believable

Sometimes words just have to be punctuated by a "fuck" every now and then, you know? Like when you go for three days feeling completely normal and think your morning sickness is over and you even post about it, hip-hip-hooraying all over the place, just to wake up this morning and puke again. Granted, one puking session is no big deal considering I was sick all day previously. However, it has me worried:

Could this cold be surpressing my nausea? I mean, it's kinda weird that my m/s completely disappeared the day my cold started. As my cold symptoms go away, will the m/s gradually come back? My common sense side says "no" but my paranoid side says "yes", it's coming back. Or maybe this was just a freak occurence never to be repeated again. Yes, I'm sure it's just that. Just a last "hoorah" so to speak. One for the road.

I must remain positive. Positive. *whine*

God. I knew that not finding a picture of Larry and Balki doing the dance of joy was a bad omen. I just knew it.

p.s. to all you lovely, fabulous ladies (and hubbies of ladies) who suffered morning sickness for the entire pregnancy, I hope you will excuse my ranting. I know it could be worse. You had it worse. And I can't imagine how you got through it.

p.p.s. I don't know when I'll be back out and around visiting blogs. I feel the need to say that again. I love that people are still visiting me, but the blogosphere is a big place and I will totally understand if you can't fit this whiny preggo blogger into your visits anymore. In fact, I'm pretty sure my husband would stop visiting me if he could. I'm not good at being sick or being pregnant. Unfortunately for him we live together, so he has no escape.

I'm Doin' the Dance of Joy

Despite the fact that I've been running a fever since Saturday...

Despite the fact that I can't breathe through my nose and my head feels like it's going to explode every time I cough...

Despite the fact that my eyes and squinty and watery and my body aches...

Despite the fact that I threw up four times in the middle of the food court at the mall on Saturday (yes, OMG, I did)...

Yes, despite all this, I am still doing the dance of joy!!*

Because I woke up two days ago and felt normal. That is, I felt no nausea. No all-day, non-stop I'm-gonna-puke-up-my-saltine-crackers feeling. No vomiting even.

At 16 weeks, I think it's really over! And I can't wait to get back to my regularly scheduled life. Hooray!

*Unbelievably, my two minute Google image search couldn't produce a picture of Larry and Balki doing the dance of joy for this post. Gosh.