BlogHer Pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me apologize in advance for using the words "nice" and "mommy blogger" in this post over and over again. But I have to say that mommy bloggers are just really, really, really nice people. And cute and funny and intelligent. I'm so glad I went even though I didn't get there until Saturday night and I felt like a bit of a lame-o arriving so late. I actually had to chase down Elizabeth from Table for Five to say hi to her because she was already leaving as I was just getting my first drink.

Also, due to the fact that I arrived so late, I missed out on all the free stuff. I was so bummed cuz I love free shite. Though I have to say that Mega Mom did share some of her goodies with me. Check this out. Free Elexa condoms with their own faux leather carrying case. Sweeeeeet!

But enough of that...on to the pictures!

*********


Double fistin' it with Christina and Sarah. Woo-hoo. These girls know how to part-ay!







What can I say about this girl? She is like the cutest pregnant woman I have EVER seen. Really outgoing, warm, and friendly. And she's the only woman I've ever spent the night with who's handed me a condom. So, that seals it. I am forever in love with her.





Dude, it doesn't get any better than this. Me and Jennster, completely sober, humping each other. She rocks, man. You will see her picture ALL of the Internet I'm sure. She is so fun and so nice and I'm indebted to her for letting me tag along after her at the party.






I'm not going to tell you who this is, but I will say that she is really sweet, super nice, and loves her office supplies.









Forget Dooce. I touched Dawn from True Wife Confessions. I shall not wash my right cheek.








This is what I meant when I said I wanted sweeping bangs, Hairdresser! She is one sophisticated mama. And so down-to-earth. Just like her blog. Oh, and she's the only person I truly believe can bring the fanny pack back into style.




I'm a bit sad because I didn't get to really chat it up with Catherine. Though I did find out that those adorable pictures of Wonderbaby and Kermit were taken by HER. If I lived closer, I would totally pay her to take pictures of Kermit and Little Guy.

And then there was Motherhood Uncensored, Mothergoosemouse, POW, and Mom/Ma'am/Me who were so fun to meet in person as I am big fans of their blogs.

When I met Liz , I think I blathered something about how much I loved her blog and how it was one of the first I ever read and how she was such a great writer and how funny I think she is. I basically made myself sound like a frickin' stalker. But she was so nice that she didn't let on that I totally freaked her out. I'm going to have to comment on her blog with a new profile now. But she really is sweet. Super, super sweet.

Oh, and Wendy Boucher autographed her book for me. Wendy is lovely. So outgoing and friendly. And a published writer. *swoon*

So, that's the recap. There are so many peeps out there in blogland that weren't at the conference. I missed seeing you guys there. Really, really missed you. It will be that much more fun if you can make it to next year's BlogHer in Illinois. Whaddyasay? Is it a date...?

Linky-Love-a-Thon and 100th Post Celebration

I guess I gave too many hints in yesterday's post because Jennster figured it out right away, that whore! (Don't worry, she likes being called a whore. It's like a term of endearment for her. Don't ask me why.)

So anyway....yeeeee! This is my 100th post! I can't believe it! I was racking my brain all week as to how to celebrate this. I contemplated writing 100 things about me part deux or listing 100 reasons why my kid is the cutest kid on the face of this earth.

But then I decided that I didn't want this post to be about me. I wanted it to be about YOU. Because YOU are all the reason that I blog. If not for you, I would just write in a journal and tuck it away under my mattress. And how boring would that be? This is so much more fun.

So thank you. Thank you for being part of this community of beautiful, supportive, awesome women writers who inspire me daily to be a better mother and a better writer.

If you're not at BlogHer this weekend, please take a moment, pick a number or two below, and click. I can guarantee that no matter which number you choose, you will find a perfect post...and with any luck, a new blog to fall in love with. Enjoy!

1
2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32
33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48
49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67
68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81
82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89
90 91 92 93 94 95
96 97 98 99
100

If anyone would like to add another link, let me know, there are still some spots left! And wish me luck, I'm off to BlogHer tomorrow...can you hear my knees quaking in my boots?

Edited to add: This post was inspired by another blogger (The Diary of a Reluctant Housewife I believe) who posted 100 of her favorite posts for her 100th post celebration.

Send Me Your Linkies, Ladies!*

I'm going to be celebrating a little something in my next post. It's nothing major, but it is something kinda special. I can't tell you what it is...yet. But I will give you some hints:

1) Many of you have already celebrated this.

2) No, I'm not pregnant.

3) It has something to do with (what else?)...blogging.

4) But no, for the love of God, it has nothing to do with BlogHer. (I AM going to BlogHer, but I will not be posting about it prior to going because, well, haven't you heard enough about that dang conference already?)

So, if you haven’t guessed it, I will reveal all soon. You just can't wait to find out, can you? (Hey, stop yawning!)

Now, here's where you come in. In order for me to properly celebrate this special milestone, I need something from you. If you don’t give it to me, it won’t be much of a celebration. (No pressure.)

What I would like is from you is this:

Please provide me a link to your all-time favorite post. If you have two favorite posts, by all means, send me two links. The only rule is that it has to be a post that YOU wrote.

Got it? Not a post that your favorite blogger wrote. Something that YOU wrote and that you love and that you want other people to read again. And that’s all I need.

You can email me the link or post the link in the comments here. This is not the time to be shy and modest. I want to hear from you, and I want your links baby!

No linkies, no celebration.

*And Moobs, if you’re reading this, please send me your linkies too. Since you’re the only dude who reads my blog, you can send me three linkies if you want.

*****
P.S. I’m sorry if I haven’t stopped by to comment on your blog yet. Damn blogger is acting up again and I could barely even get a post up. I will be by soon though. Promise! Oh, and please go visit my renter, Mama? Mama, Come Here! You can get to her site by clicking on her thumbnail above my blogrolls.

Welcome, Mama? Mama, Come Here!

I am so excited that Kel from Mama? Mama, Come Here! is renting from me this week. If you didn’t know already, Kel is the wizard behind the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas Website, and she also happens to have a great blog. She holds a special place in my heart because she was the first blogger to pop my cherry. Yeah, you heard right. I lost my blogger virginity to her back in March. But, shhh, don’t tell my husband.

Please go pay Kel a visit if you can. You can get to her blog by clicking on her icon right above my blogrolls.

Hot Tot Toy Awards 2006

Several of you made a good point in your comments on my post yesterday. Mommy blogs don’t always have to be about the kid. They don't even have to mostly be about the kid. In fact, the more interesting mommy blogs probably regularly branch out past the details of Little Johnny's latest poop problems to reflect on deeper issues--issues of how motherhood shapes us, how we approach our spirituality , or how we work on our marriages.

And yet.

I still feel badly that Little Guy has taken a back seat on the blog lately so I’m letting him do a guest post today. He’s been begging to do this ever since he found out about my blog. So here we go. Be gentle with him. He’s only 13-months old, and he's new at this blogging thing.

Hot Tot Toy Awards 2006
A post by Little Guy

Now that I’m a one year old, I feel the need to let you mommies in on something--

You’re wasting your money.

On all those toys I mean. The Laugh and Learn Puppies, the peek-a-blocks...forget that stuff. Toys are for babies. We want the real deal. Stuff that can break. Stuff that can poison us if ingested in large quantities. Stuff that would cost you $50 or more to replace. Or even just random crap lying around the house that we see you using. That's the kinda stuff we want.

So in the name of all one-year-olds everywhere, I present to you my “Hot Tot Toy Awards” for 2006.

Nursing Bra. OK, so I’m still breastfeeding here and there. I can’t help it. I like boobs. Sue me. But, sometimes, when I can’t get my hands on a boob, a really nice nursing bra does the trick. Preferably with the scent of mama's milk. Mmmmmm. Tasty. And fun to chomp on. A lovely "hors d'oeuvres" before the main course if you will.





Electronic handheld devices. Phones, cell phones, PDAs, remote controls, and any other such gadget, preferably if it's expensive and has a light. And the cell phone? It better be a flip phone with a camera. Don't even try lobbing off your old cell phone on us. We know the difference.





Bulb Aspirator. Great as a teething device and really fun when mommies use them to blow air in our face. It tickles!




Shoes. Sure, we like them dirty, but we don’t know any better. Buy a couple of cheap shoes in your size, but don’t wear them. These shoes are for us. We like to chew on soles. Mmmm. Be sure to get something gummy. Flip flops do nicely.



Keys. Don’t bother giving us toy keys. We weren’t born yesterday. And if you pull out your keys for any reason, be prepared to have a back-up set ready to hand over to us. Or else.



Butt Paste (or anything in a tube.) Preferably something toxic. We like to live on the edge. Just be there to make sure we don't really eat it. Makes for a great distraction while changing our diapers.






Expensive, But Rarely Used Kitchenware: You know that fancy dancy egg poacher set you got from Williams-Sonoma? Just give it to your kid. Cuz you know you’re not using it to poach eggs. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or has a nanny or isn't spending enough time blogging.


Well, these are just a few of my favorites. I'm now taking honorable mentions. Anyone who'd like to submit a recommendation, please write to LittleGuy@nevergonnawean.com or post me a comment!

You-hoo! Over here...Remember Me?!

Looking back at my recent posts, I realized that there seems to be a bit of a theme emerging in my writing. Over the last couple weeks, I've debated about whether to go to BlogHer. I've freaked out about relatives finding out about my blog. I've discussed the intimate details of losing my blogger virginity. And most recently I've interviewed a blogger on my blog.

Yes, it appears that lately I've been blogging an awful lot about, well, blogging, and I feel that I am in dire need of writing on a subject matter that has nothing to do with blogging whatsoever.

So, hmmm, what else could I write about?

*drumming fingers on the computer desk*

What else? What else...?

...Hey, over here, remember me?

Oh, right. The kid. The whole reason I started this blog.

I will get back to writing about him. In the meantime, I offer you a picture.

I must say that just seeing his scrumptious curlies makes me want to put his head in my mouth and eat him whole. Weird?

Let the Party Begin!

One week until BlogHer and the party has already started! Today I'm interviewing Mega Mom of The Mom Squad as part of the get-to-know-your-fellow-bloggers online mixer.(You don't have to be going to BlogHer to join the mixer and interview a blogger. Go here for more info, and play along. It's fun!)

So, what can I say about Mega Mom? She is mom to 3 beautiful boys and is expecting her fourth baby in a few months. Hers is one of the first blogs I ever read, and I have been a fan ever since. She recently took pity on me and told me I could room with her at the conference. I am terribly excited to meet her.

Ok, Mega Mom, take it away!

P.S. You can read my interview over at her site today. Like if you're totally bored or something.

*******************

1. When did you start blogging and why? Or Talk about your blog. What can I learn about you in under 5 minutes?

I started b/c I'd written a treatment for a talk show for Moms and I wanted to get ideas, feedback and support. Obviously I found quite a bit of a community of Mommy Bloggers and the damn people at the network never did end up taking my call (even though they'd seemed very interested and open when I set up the phone interview).


2. Who do you read every day, rain or shine?

I don't read every day because we've been enjoying a wonderful summer, but I try to at least 3x per week. I try to hit everyone on my Blogroll of course!

3. Why did you choose to share that piece of yourself in a photograph?

I tend to be a bit snarky, so I'm showing you my open, accepting and happy smile so that you won't be intimidated by me. Ha! Hope you can read the sarcasm there. I'm only snarky with my husband. I hide it from everyone else!

4. How would you describe your writing style?

Choppy :) It changes with the wind. I started out quite long winded, used up all my best stuff, and discovered I liked shorter posts that got to the point!


5. If you could spend time with one person (other than your spouse, because really, let’s not rack up the suck up points here)

I'll have to say my sister, especially because I don't live 1 mile away anymore, but 750 :(


6. What don’t you write about? Anything considered a no-no in your book?

In-Laws (because I was an ASS and gave them the address). Nothing too personal. No sex, not much cursing. My parents are fans!


7. How do you feel about meeting bloggers in real life? Are you nervous? Will you have great expectations? What do you home to take away from the BlogHer experience?

Not nervous except that I'm going solo. I have a feeling that I don't have much in common with the bloggers that I read, but I fell in love with their writing and ideas. It'll be interesting to see what I think of them (especially this chick that I'm sharing a room with).


8. So soon we’re going to meet each other at BlogHer. Important question. How do you party?

I get pretty wild, but I go home early (it has been my MO since college). Even though I'm halfway through a pregnancy, I still get silly. I keep telling everyone that I'm the funnest sober person they've ever met :) However, as outgoing as I am, I can get quiet when I'm uncomfortable.


9. What is your favorite thing that you wrote? What got a strong reaction from readers? Links please?

I like some of my old, chaotic writing. I also like the ones I've written about my parents, kids and husband.


10. Have you written anything controversial? Is blogging controversial?

I actually wrote a post about spanking that I had to remove (not at all because of negative comments). It was early in my blogging and I didn't want people who didn't know me personally to have only one tiny portion of my vast :) parenting skills.


11. Are you and your blogging persona the same person?

Definitely.


12. Have you ever anonymously posted on a site to flame them?

NEVER. If I don't like something I either politely disagree or I click the little X. I can't stand the anonymous haters. They've got nothing better to do with their lives. BTW, I've also never had a problem with them (because I'm a little fry), I'm only mad at what they've written to my imaginary friends :).


13. If you had a super power, what would it be?

I'd want every one in the book (how cool would it be to swing from buildings?) If I had to choose one I'd like the ability to be two places at once. That way I could enjoy my life here in IL and still be with my family in NY.

Losing My Virginity

Remember when you first started blogging? Remember how excited you got when you someone visited your blog and left you your first comment EVER? Would you go so far as to say it felt like someone had popped your blog-cherry? I would. It didn't really hurt, but it DID feel like something had changed. In a good, rite-of-passage type way.

Well, I recently realized that I've been sleeping with you reading some of your blogs for up to 5 months now and in most cases I still don't know your story--the story behind your blog that is. For instance:

Who are the doctors and why are they bald?

What ARE you doing in that handbasket?

Why is the "K" in the Silent K silent?

And what the heck does Dribblingwitt??? ... mean?

I'm sure I could go searching through each and every one of your archives to find out the backstory behind your blog. But I am lazy. So I am asking you: What's your story? How did you decide on the title/tag line for your blog?

Oh, and if you're wondering what the deal is with my tag line, you can read my very first post, A Few Words for the Record.

But, hey, if you do read that post, please leave me a comment if you can. Cuz let's face it, just because I'm not a virgin anymore, doesn't mean I don't still wanna get laid.

Hot Enough for Ya?

Is it hot where you live? Cuz it's frickin' hot here. This is what my weather thermometer was reading today. I kid you not. I think it's so hot that it broke. I wouldn't be surprised if I check it tomorrow and find out that it has spontaneously combusted. Hope the weather is better in your neck of the woods.

On a somewhat related note, I would like to welcome my new renter! She's hot too. In a good way though. Some of you may already know her. After a little blogging hiatus, she's back, and she's hanging out in her pajamas as we speak. Ooooh la la. Go check her out. I guarantee you that if you read through a few of her posts, you will find out what a beautiful person she is. If you'd like to pay her a visit, just click on her icon over on my sidebar (right above my blogrolls). Cheers!

Close Muthafukin' Call

One of the reasons I started this blog was to have a place to write without having to worry about offending anyone I know in "real life". Not that I write anything terribly offensive, but my parents are the type who shock easily. For example, my dad objects to my use of the expression "that sucks" and has, on several occassions, said to me: "That is a dirty expression. Do you know what that expression really means? Do you?" And I just didn't want to have to worry about using a little fucking profanity on my blog now and then, you know?

Plus, somehow I feel I am more creative when I write anonymously. I don't know why, but I am. And I can be emotionally vulnerable without having to talk about my feelings later with my family. Cuz maybe I don't want to talk about everything with my family. Maybe I just want to write about it. Anonymously. Cuz it's cathartic.

So with the exception of Husband (who doesn't read it anyway) and a couple close friends, I haven't shared this blog with anyone I know. And I like it that way. And I have told Husband that he is to keep my blogging on the "down low" with the fam.

So that's why I was totally peeved the other night when we were at my parents' house for dinner and this exchange occurred:

Mom (to me): You look tired, honey.

Husband: Oh, she's just tired because she stays up late posting to her new blog.

Mom: What? She has a blog? A different blog than the one we read? (I have another blog where I write the details of my hum-drum mommy life for my family to read.)

Husband: Yeah. Mmm hmm. *takes big bite of steak*

What the fuck? I couldn't believe he dropped the bomb like that. What the hell was he thinking??!! That shithead!

As I waited for her to ask me for the URL, time seemed to slow down. Thoughts began racing through my head. I could just see the commentary she would have as she sifted through my archives.

Oh, honey, your father didn't really mean anything by that. You're so SENSITIVE.

Are you having marital problems? It sounds like you're having marital problems.

I don't think writing about yourself on the Internet is safe. You need to just quit blogging if these are the type of people who have access to your site.

You're going to leave the baby overnight? Are you sure that's such a good idea?

Ugh! I knew I would never be able to let her read through it. And that is why I could see the future of my blog, shriveled to a former shell of itself...Posts would have to be deleted. Curse words removed. Any mention of annoying relatives scoured to oblivion.

It was if my entire blog existence was suddenly flashing before my eyes.

The air became thick. I felt queasy. I knew I was caught. Her eyes seem to burn into my head as I looked down towards my dinner plate, trying to pretend I was invisible.

Finally, I raised my eyes slowly, wincing, afraid of the question, afraid of having to share my private writing space with everyone. (Maybe someday, but not today, please, not today.)

As I met her gaze, she looked at me and said, "Honey, will you please pass me the potatoes?"

And that was it. I could. not. believe it.

Apparently Husband is not the only one who could care less about my blog.

Phew. *huge sigh of fucking relief*

from the MotR diaries

(I'm about to get sappy and nostalgic today. Just don't laugh. These are unedited exerpts.)

November 20, 1996
I met this incredible guy on November 2nd. We went to a party (S & I) and as we were kind of dancing this guy came up to us and asked us to dance. She said no. I said why not…Since the day we met we’ve seen each other every single day. He’s very good to me. He’s cute. He’s smart. He’s making me fall for him.

November 27, 1996
As we were kissing a couple nights ago, I felt so connected to him. I felt the beginnings of what love would feel like....He said that he can see us together for a long time, for years. Sometimes I can see it too, other times I realize I’m only kidding myself.

January 27, 1997
One month until my birthday. I’m only a teenager for about 30 more days. I’m so happy right now...my life is good.

February 14, 1997
D is the love of my life. My best friend, my advisor, my lover, my guide. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend. I see myself marrying him. I see myself having his children. I can’t see myself without him.

April 7, 1997
He’s gotten into the habit of picking me flowers. Every time I see him, he’s got a flower for me.

April 14, 1997
One time…D wrote our initials in the frost of all the car windows we passed on our 2 hour long walk from his house to mine in the rain….D waited 1 ½ hours in his car outside the U-Club for me to get off work…D took me to the park and kissed me under the trees….

May 2, 1997
We talked about me going to Italy finally. He said that it was up to me, but that he’d never ask me to stay. He said he’d e-mail me every day and that a year really wasn’t that long.

June 9, 1997
He sat down on the bed next to me. He took my hand but didn’t say anything. He looked sad. Then I saw a couple tears fall from his eyes. I was trying not to cry. He said, “You don’t really want to leave me do you?”

July 4, 1997
While we lay there he asked me to tell him about Padua and what was going to happen when I got there. I told him what I know. As I lay there in the dark with my hand on his chest, I felt so lucky and happy to have his love. I could feel how much he loved me.

July 8, 1997
What does my heart tell me to do? I don’t know. That’s my problem. My heart is all filled up with one feeling—love for him and maybe that’s why nothing else can get through to it. Italy? A year abroad to experience life? How can I love life without sharing it with him? How can I leave him for ten months?...Won’t my heart break from sadness, lonliness, emptiness? Then--How can I give up an opportunity to learn? How can I give up fun, excitement?

He told me to do what my heart tells me. He told me, go, and don’t stay for me, that he would support any decision. And I said that I was sad and confused and didn’t know anything. He said he’d be here for me when I got back.

August 7, 1997
Only about 3 weeks until I leave. I asked D whether he’s sad and he said he’s happy if I’m happy. I don’t know what his real feelings are. I find it hard to leave, but necessary.

September 21, 1997
He e-mailed me [a letter] that I got on Friday. It made me realize how lucky I am to have him. And how generous and loving he is. He said that he loves me in so many different ways. I needed to hear it because before I left I was so insecure about it…He said he wasn’t sad to let me go because he knew I wanted it and he wanted what I wanted and that he would be with me everywhere I was and I with him. I cried in the computer room full of Italians. I wanted to be with him so badly then, but all I could do was touch the words on the computer screen.

October 31,1997
I hate being separated from him like this. I just really hate it. I’m starting to feel lonely.

November 22, 1997
Where are you my love? I’m searching my mind for some sign but when I reach out to feel something, I feel nothing. Winter is covering the world like a drape. Our light is being snuffed out in this cold. If only I could feel your skin under my fingers I know I would be cured from this melancholy. If I could just breath in your kiss, I know I’d feel alive again.

November 23, 1997
Peace settles on my soul/Like cotton falling on pillows/There’s no sound, no sign/of me letting you go/But all the same/I’m breaking inside

January 24, 1998
D actually used the word “marriage” on the phone a couple days ago. He said, “Maybe not now, but in the near future, I’m going to marry you.”

March 9, 1998
Hope and cry and despair and cry some more. That’s all I do and that’s how time escapes me. A year to live—no—a year to stop living until I can come home and be with you again, my life.

June 6, 1998/Return
The last note hangs heavily in the velvet air
I watch your hands poised tentatively over the ivory keys until that final perfect harmony whispers off into the silence of the room
And you turn to me, your eyes glazed over
As with sleep
Refocus--
You see me now
Your eyes seem to kiss me with their sparkling and innocent warmth
You are up and next to me in a second and
It is fervent passion now--for me, for the music
It is the same
And I, transfixed, can only gaze onto your
Genius and follow your music to your soul
From the passion of your kiss, your touch,
The air we now exchange,
I can finally breath again, freely,
Struggling with you to replay those perfect sounds.

****
Happy 5th anniversary, baby. Maybe someday you'll actually read my blog.

Clueless

Me: You know, our 5-year anniversary is coming up on Friday and we haven’t even talked about what we’re going to do yet.

Husband: Oh, don’t worry about it, I already have something planned.

Me: Oooh, really? What?

Husband: I thought we could have dinner in. Just you, me, and Little Guy.

Me: You mean like we do every Friday night?

Husband: No, this will be a special dinner. I’m going to cook it for you.

Me: (not impressed)

Husband: Wait, hear me out. I’m going to cook shiskabobs....Barbecue them-on the grill! We haven’t barbecued once this whole summer. It’ll be fun!

Me: (shooting him a "you-can't-be-fucking-serious look”)


Husband: What? What’s wrong with that? I'm gonna skewer fish and bell peppers. Maybe some onions too.

Me: (Oh, shit, he is serious.)

*sigh*

I love this man, but romantic he is not.

What's Lamer than Lame?

1) Nominating yourself for a "Blog of the Day Award". (Lame)

2) Then immediately posting on your blog to tell people that you won...(Lamer)

3)...when you're one of only two people who was nominated... ever. (Lamest)

But seriously, thank you for the award. Do I get a button? Cuz that's really all I want.

*oh, I am soooo lame*

OK, bye.

*******
P.S. Please go visit my renter. I'm sure she's not this lame.

P.P.S. Just to clarify, I do not mean to suggest that this award is lame. Just that I am lame. I firmly believe that anyone who would spend time to give bloggers awards are probably some of the nicest people in the blogosphere. So, hey, go nominate someone...or yourself...this nice lady is just getting these awards off the ground!

Welcome, Unexplored Territory!

I have a new renter this week, Unexplored Territory. See her over at the sidebar above my blogrolls? In her latest post, she's got a really scary picture of those girls from The Shining. But there's a very good reason. Go check her out to find out why!

BlogHer or Bust

Edited to add: You convinced me. I'm officially signed up for the Saturday night cocktail party. Yahoooo!

OK, people. I have a serious question for you, and I need your feedback...fast. I've been having this internal debate raging within me for some time now. It's gone something like this:

Me (circa March 2006): What's this BlogHer thing people keep talking about? It's a what? A conference for women bloggers? You mean people are actually going to meet up with people they've only met over the Internet? I'd never do that. These people must be really obsessed with the whole blogging thing. Weird.

Me (circa April 2006): Mommy bloggers are cool. And nice. And, gosh, I really like them. They're starting to feel like real friends.

Me (circa May 2006): Wow, BlogHer is in San Jose. That's only like 2 hours from where I live. Maybe I should go. It would be kinda cool to meet some of these mommies.....get an autograph or two...put a face to a blogger template. Maybe I'll sign up. Hmmmm. *twiddles thumbs and contemplates*

Me (circa June 2006): OK, there's no more denying it. I totally want to go to BlogHer. Bad. That's it. I'm registering....What? Day One is sold out?! GAH! Why didn't I register sooner, like back in March when I had a chance? I'm SO DUMB. *bangs head against keyboard*

Me (July 2006): Well, tickets are still available for the cocktail party happening Saturday evening. I could go to that. But would people still be hanging around or would all the fun be over by then?

So, now that you know what keeps me up at night, my question to you is:

Are you going to BlogHer, and if so, will you still be around for the Saturday evening cocktail party? Cuz I really truly only want to go if you're gonna be there. I'd so love to join you for a drink...A real drink.

It's Not "Hippopotamus" But It's a Start

Many years ago, I remember hearing about a first-time mother whose child uttered the word "Hippopotamus" at the obscenely young age of 6 months. Incredibly, she thought it was normal for her infant to use five-syllable words before he could even walk. Perhaps Baby Center's slightly-annoying-but-fairly-informative "track your child's development" weekly e-mails were not available back then. Still, I think that if my child ever interjected a "Hippopotamus" in between his ga ga goo gooes, I'd know he was gifted.

As it turns out, I'm pretty sure Little Guy is not a genius because when I say to him in a perfectly clear voice, "Hip-po-po-ta-mus", careful to enunciate every syllable distinctly, he looks at me with a blank stare and then inevitably squeals "DA DA DA DA DA DA!" at the top of his lungs and then stumbles off like a drunken sailor to tear the pages out of one of my magazines or eat dirt off the floor or some other such activity.

No, for Little Guy language acquisition will come at the normal speed, which is perfectly fine by me. And while I don't think Little Guy has to be on time with ALL of his milestones, I was kinda hoping he'd say a word (preferably mommy) by the time he turned one so that when I read the Baby Center e-mail that says "by the first birthday, the average child will likely use one to five words meaningfully," I could sit back smugly and check "talking" off our list.

No pressure on Little Guy or anything.

Yet, the first birthday had come and gone with not a "meaningful" word uttered.

Then last night, while strolling through our neighborhood on our regular evening walk, we passed a neighbor walking his dog.

"DAT! DAT!" Little Guy exclaimed as he hung over the side of his stroller, his eyes fixed intently on the dog passing us on the other side of the street.

"Oh, honey," I corrected. "That's a dog not a dat. Say dog, honey. Daaaaahg."

Several minutes later, Little Guy spied a cat making his way towards us from across the lawn.

"DAT! DAT!" he exclaimed again. "No sweetie, that's a cat. Say cat. Caaaaaht."

Hmmph, I thought. All this time spent labeling "dog" and "cat" over and over again every time we see one and he's still just making babble sounds.

And then it hit me.

DOG + CAT = DAT!

It's a new word! Little Guy's word! And it means "little furry animal that walks on four legs and who I will squeeze the life out of pet excitedly if given a chance."

So anyway, I don't know what you think, but I think this just may qualify as Little Guy's first word.

Take that Baby Center.

Meme-a-Palooza

I apologize in advance to anyone who gets tagged in today's Meme-a-Palooza.

Meme #1: Midwestern Mommy has asked me to list 15 things I hate, and I am glad to oblige because we are new blogger buds and I don't want to do anything to rock the boat this early in our relationship. Plus, I'm due for a little bitching. OK, so here are...

15 Things I Hate

1) People who park their cars on their lawn, leave car hoods on their lawns, and/or put their cars on blocks and leave them in their driveways. It's just not neighborly.

2) Finding bits of jelly in my jar of peanut butter. Ugh.

3) That there are perpetually no less than 6 half-empty glasses of water on Husband's nightstand. Not surprisingly, I can rarely find a clean glass for myself.

4) Writing a totally thoughtful, witty three-paragraph comment on someone's outstanding post, clicking "publish", and then seeing the dreadful Blogger error message and realizing my comment has just been wiped into oblivion. Hate that.

5) Reading "batteries not included" on Little Guy's new toy package, having no batteries on hand, and also having no desire whatsoever to go to the store to buy any batteries.

6) B.O. on a crowded bus.

7) Purchasing an awesome armchair and ottoman from Ikea, excitedly bringing it home to assemble it, and then finding that the one itty bitty allen wrench needed to put it together is missing from the box. Not funny, Ikea stockboys. Not funny at all.

8) Reaching for toliet paper and not finding any.

9) Cutting dog hair out of my vacuum cleaner coils.

10) Spending 2 hours cleaning the house and still finding dog hair in my food. (Does anyone know if this counts as protein?)

11) Used car salesmen who cheat me out of a promised "student rebate" and who then accuse me of harrasing them and threaten to sic their lawyers on me when I try to demand what I am rightfully owed.

12) Credit card solicitations in my mail. Every. Single. Day.

13) Fingernail clippings left on my bathroom sink. (Yeah, Husband, this means you!)

14) Not being carded at the bar.

And....

15) Not being carded at the bar. Yeah, really hate that.

I tag A Mommy Story, Sunshine Scribe, and Nancy. Have you guys done this one yet?

MEME #2
Kel recently tagged me for this meme.

5 things in my fridge:
1. Midnight Moo (you may remember seeing me post about this before)
2. Hummus
3. Whole milk (for Little Guy who's starting cow's milk this week!)
4. Raspberries
5. Really old leftovers that are now indistinguishable from their original form and which, unfortunately, I am so scared to touch that they will likely remain in our fridge until they grow legs and walk off.

5 things in my closet:
1. A pair of pants that I swear I will fit back into one day.
2. A box of maternity clothes.
3. A scrapbook kit I bought at Target.
4. A new slinky black dress that I bought today and that I plan to wear out for our 5th wedding anniversary later this month.
5. Clothes that I bought and that I plan to return, eventually, someday. Oh, who am I kidding? I'll never get back to the store to return them.

5 things in my purse:
1. Crumbs
2. My favorite beaded necklace that I took off some weeks ago because Little Guy insists on trying to tear it off my neck and break it into a million little choking hazards.
3. An extra set of keys, which are routinely handed to Little Guy who has taken to screaming his purty little head off if he cannot immediately have my keys when I take them out of my purse.
4. Receipts, receipts, receipts
5. Hand sanitizer

5 things in my car:
1. Toys
2. Sun Shade
3. Picnic blanket
4. Empty water bottles
5. A picture of the Pope (I received it from someone and didn't know what else to do with it. Somehow I feel safer with the Pope watching out for us. Weird?)

5 people I tag:
Stacy
Mothergoosemouse
Jodi
Something Baby Blue
The Mom Squad
Ruth Dynamite

I Coulda Sworn There Were 31 Days in June...

I'm a procrastinator. I know it. I suck. Today I begged Lindsay and Momma K to let me bestow a Perfect Post award for June, even though it's now July. I was prepared for them to say "Nope, too late. Sorry!" so I had the following excuses ready just in case:

1) I heard there was some kind of mommy blogger "get-together" happening in the Toronto area so I decided to drive to Canada to check it out.

2) My dog ate my keyboard.

3) Target asked me to be their official mommy spokesperson and I was taking press calls all day.

4) My husband told me he'd give up golf if I'd just stay off the Internet for one godd**m day.

5) I coulda sworn there were 31 days in June.

Luckily, I didn't need to use these excuses. Not a one. Because being the nice, forgiving people that they are, they agreed to add one more blogger to the Perfect Post list. So without further adieu, my award goes to....

Bub and Pie for the post, The One That Got Away.

I’ve been reading Ms. Bub and Pie for about a month and I truly enjoy reading her posts. I usually keep a dictionary on hand when I read her blog because she often uses “big” words that I don’t know like "ubiquitous" and "predilection"(Ok big for me probably not for you), but she always throws in a "neck cheese" or a "royal potty" for good measure.

(She’s an English teacher you know. Actually an English professor. As a former English major, I find that incredibly, delectably cool. And I truly appreciate the fact that she is helping me widen my vocabulary.)

Anyhow, please go read her beautifully written entry about the heartache of miscarriage. It truly is a perfect post.

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And thank you to It's Okay Sweetie and Peanut's Mom who nominated my post about Target shopping addiction. I'm honored to be mentioned among some great bloggers. Thank you!